brown shogun classic: 2021-2023

Okay, I know literally yesterday I said I was going to focus on trying to do multiple things at once and get a little progress on each one. But I noticed when I do that, I get overwhelmed and I end up doing nothing. Yesterday I could only think about doing music, but I needed to finish sorting stuff to get rid of, and then I completely ignored any progress on Getting Laid, and I put all of that off because I was procrastinating my work stuff.

Today was even worse, I just kept putting off my current work task because I REALLY did not want to do it, and while I did eat 3000 calories today, putting off my work task meant I didn't get time to produce any music (I did noodle on my guitar for like an hour, but I didn't record it). And on top of that, that made me put off my minimalism goals because I really didn't want to do that either. Lots of wheel spinning in the past 3 days since I got back.

I also remember that I was making a lot of progress with approaching and trying to get laid last month, because I literally only focused on that and nothing else. As a side benefit, I got a lot of work done last month because all I knew was the only other thing I "had" to do was go out and approach, and my life was way simpler.

Somehow, I was fortunate enough to run into this video by @Radical and it was kind of a sign from God:

So I need to focus on one goal at a time at any given point. I need to think about what I want the most and make sure I make active progress on that each day. If I have time, I'll try to work on other goals but I really need to prioritize one thing.

So for this week, that's becoming a minimalist and getting rid of as much of my belongings as I can. I need to focus on this right now because I'm going to be moving next week, and then eventually in February 2022, and having a lot of physical clutter and crap I don't need causes me to have a lot of mental clutter. Plus, I already started so my rooms are basically huge messes right now. But I keep putting it off and then I'm like "oh by the way you have to make some music and also try to go out and approach and you have to do all this other crap", and end up getting nothing done. By zoning in on this minimalism goal for a few days, hopefully I can move on to something else more quickly.

Next week when I go to Nashville, of course I'll be focusing again on approaching and getting laid. But for the next few days, I'll use this log to document my "getting rid of crap" (mini)-goal.

Got a good amount of progress in cleaning out my stuff, I think I've fully separated everything I need to get rid of and everything I'm going to keep. Put up a bunch of things on Facebook marketplace and gonna take a bunch of stuff to the local hobby store tomorrow.

Did okay with work. I told my boss that I really hated my current task but I wanted to get it done today and that he should message me in 3 hours to see if it's done. I ended up doing a bunch of researching about how to DJ instead, but I got some decent progress (way better than yesterday, where I did almost absolutely nothing). He's expecting me to finish this tomorrow, but I'm tired now so I'll just wake up and try to complete it before he calls me.

Today's workout:
Overhead Press 5/5/4 - 105 lbs, 6/5 - 95 lbs
Dumbbell Rows 5x10 - 50 lbs
Long-lever Posterior-tilt Planks - 5x40sec/rest 20sec

Also ate 3000 calories again today. I think the diet I made in Cronometer is really easy for me to follow and it's generally fast, although dinner has a bit more prep/cleanup than I'd like.

No music stuff other than getting distracted and looking into how DJing works, and more of my usual guitar noodling. I thought I would have had some time tonight to make some stuff but I got too distracted from work. I really need to learn how to zone in at work. 3-4 hours distraction-free and in focus is far more productive than 8 hours of meandering, and I'm not really sure what to do. My ideal situation would be I would spend exactly 3 hours and get a LOT done, and then have more free time in the day, but I have a lot of trouble staying focused when I have a lot of tedious work.

Posting an update for the past 2 days since I didn't post yesterday.

I felt really whiny yesterday and I decided the only thing I could do about it is just approach. I sold a bunch of my stuff at the hobby store, and then went to the mall. Thursday night at the mall is fucking dead but I went 0/3. I did see about 8 girls total that I would have hit on, so I definitely had some no-approach AA built up. Surprisingly, I hit on the first girl I saw no sweat, but I had more AA after that initial approach.

Which made me realize that I really hadn't taken the whole idea of "incurred rejection is a prerequisite to success" to heart. Like I kind of just knew that at the surface level and was out approaching as much as I could last month, but I realized it also applies to other areas of life outside of approach. I've been complaining a lot (mainly to myself) about how much I hate living in my city, how much I hate tedious work tasks, how much I hate cleaning out my stuff...etc. At the beginning of this week, I thought "oh I'm not gonna have time to approach...I have to really clean out my stuff and I need to catch up on work and im gonna be leaving next week anyway...and etc". Honestly, I should have known better and those were just excuses. By not approaching, I started getting really complacent again and I really kind of had a shit week in general.

I had a dream last night where I had a house party at my place with some local friends. Condensing most of the details. There was one girl (who I completely fabricated in the dream, not someone I actually knew in real life) that sat next to me at the dining table and "accidentally" started holding my hand. She started moving it towards her chest, so I basically immediately went for a kiss, and we made out for a few minutes. Later, my roommate saw us kissing, and said "Yo, let's go outside" to everyone. He let everyone out but then blocked me from leaving and told me "She has STDs." I was like "damn.....i might have them now......" and then I sat outside on the stairs. The girl came up to me and started to snuggle against me but I basically told her that I can't see a girl who has STDs. She ran off crying and I went away from the house and walked alongside the road. I had a very sad realization that I have some deep-seated belief that the only girls who like me "have problems", and I'll never get a girl I like to be interested. At this point, I woke up from the dream.

My whole day today was clouded by this thought. I know this isn't true, but it's a subconscious belief I've had this whole time and perhaps it's been limiting me in some way. I couldn't concentrate on work, and while I did do some errands, I was basically aimlessly driving around all day ruminating and trying to process this feeling. I didn't even want to talk to anyone, let alone any girls.

At some point I parked and threw out some trash into a public garbage bin. Then I realized I didn't have my phone. Turns out I threw my phone into the garbage too. I didn't know what else to do so I just held my breath and fished it out of the trash, and then washed it in a bathroom at a tea shop. I mention this event because it was so absurd to me, that it kind of snapped me out of the trance I was in the whole day, and maybe the whole week. I was literally so disconnected from reality and stuck in my head, that I threw my fucking phone in the trash lmao. I was also reminded of the lesson I learned yesterday about how not approaching made me really complacent and whiny, and got to finishing the work I'd been procrastinating all week.

Every time I got yet another bullshit runtime error, I saw it as another rejection on the approach. I learned first-hand how confidence from approaching gets repackaged into other domains. Fix the error->another one pops up->fix that one->another one pops up. It's like approach girl->rejected->approach girl->rejected. But then eventually you get approach girl->instadate/exchange because you were able to persevere through all of the approach girl->rejecteds. The same thing happened to me, like 4 hours later, at work. I viscerally felt how success can be predicated on how well you're able to stomach repeated adversity, and I feel way better than I've felt the whole week.

Tomorrow I just have to pack the stuff I'm taking to Nashville, and sell some more stuff. Really looking forward to being there this weekend.

Trying a new thing where instead of merely logging what I did at the end of the day as observation, at the beginning of the day I write the log that I WANT to write in a notepad, and then try to live my day in a way where my real log is as close as possible to my prediction log, then Let’s see how that goes.

Key:
did
didn't do

So this morning I had an accountability call with @MakingAComeback , and I just said how I’m gonna put myself out there and get to work approaching when I go to Nashville next week. One of the members from the day game WhatsApp group used to live in Nashville and gave me a bunch of places with good volume and potential date spots. I’m also going to be pushing for an insta-date on every girl and getting her number should be secondary. Since I want to push for insta-dates, I’m not giving myself any sort of volume goals (so I can focus on pushing for insta-dates). I feel like I’m comfortable enough to push myself and wing it now (although let’s see what my log next week says haha). He said that he’s finding a place to live in London and he’s going to be approaching a lot too.

Did my laundry and packed my clothes and stuff that I’ll take to Nashville, and I sold some more things I didn’t need at the hobby store.

I decided to have an approach day where I don’t ask for *any* numbers at all. I’m literally leaving tomorrow so what’s the point lol. I just decided to approach girls at the mall and push for insta-dates. I ended up approaching maybe 25 girls but no dates . But hey, it’s good to get some mileage in.

Finally had some more time to continue my 365 project I kept putting off. It wasn’t that I was unsatisfied with my content, I just didn’t even try to make anything because I was so complacent this week. Here’s my entry for today:


Figured it’s my last night here so I’d also go out at night and try to pull there. I sat around at the “party” bar in this city for a while to settle in and then approached some girls at the bar and dance floor. I was able get my arm around some and get some physical contact, but ultimately I couldn’t pull any of them out of the place.

Alright, tomorrow it’s the big city for me for the next month. Hell yeah.


lol this method of logging is really embarrassing when you fuck up hahahh, oh well i'll post it

This isn't a daily log since I just woke up. I was going to try doing what I did yesterday again, but I ended up just letting out a bunch of feelings into my notepad. I really just want to post it because I just want some support and maybe tough love if I'm fucking up somewhere. Anyway:

I’m moving today but even with that thought I feel like my life force is drained or something. It doesn’t help that it’s raining and it’s going to rain for the next 4 days, but I know I can approach even when it’s raining. I guess I came to the realization that a lot of my “male drive” has shriveled up because I spent the first 25 years of my life suppressing my feelings (both emotional and sexual), and now when I’m trying to go hard on self-improvement, my past suppression has manifested itself into a physiological issue.

But surely if I can train my body into having no male desire, I can train it back, right? I mean suppressing myself in my younger years was probably some form of “conscious” decision to some degree, and probably at first it wasn’t natural. But then over time, I stopped having the ability to cry, the desire for women, the desire to crush my goals, and landed myself in mediocrity. Likewise, it’s probably best I just *be* cerebral for now, take the ACTIONS of approaching, fail a fuck ton and have a lot of experience at failure. That should rebuild my desire right.

I mean last month was literally more girls than I talked to than I have in my whole life - in a sexual interest that is. I think my past mediocrity was so effective, I was *actually able to be one of the girls* in female friend circles. A lot of girls used to, and still tell me, that when they talk to me it feels like they’re talking to one of their girlfriends. I always feel like shit when women tell me that but I thought “oh, well I actually know women for who they are and not just their body”, which was obviously some 4D chess.

Going into my move at my lowest low in the past 4 months. But fuck it, this is what I need to do. I have no options.

Radical wrote: ↑

Mon 2021-09-20 00:11

@colgate Whats your typical day looking like?

Today is a special day because I'm packing up and moving, and my days seem to kind of wildly vary, but I'll tell you what my typical day looked like in August, vs what it's been looking like this month.

gym days (MWF):
09:30 - wake up go to gym (30 min commute argh)
11:30 - groceries maybe, come home and shower/breakfast
13:00 - work for 4-5 hours
18:00 - go out and approach somewhere (mall, department stores, park, etc) (commute: 20-30 min) (usually lower volume on weekdays, probably ~5 or so)
20:30 - come home and eat dinner
21:30 - free time
00:00 - wind down for bed
01:00 - sleep

non-gym days:
10:00 - wake up, shower, breakfast
11:30 - go to uni campus to approach (15-20 min commute) (i was getting 10-15 a day)
14:30 - come home and work
19:00 - dinner
20:00 - maybe I procrastinated at work so i might continue, else, free time
*same as gym day from here on*

On Fridays and Saturdays I was typically going out at night and meeting friends, and doing approaches. I also sometimes went to a dance class on Friday for around 2 hours.

Sundays I usually have house cleaning and cooking to do (meal prep for the week). I'd also go out on Sunday afternoon since there are some events around that time, and do a couple approaches if I felt like it.

---

This past week has basically fucking sucked. I came back to my town after being on vacation for a week, and made my goal for this week to get rid of a lot of my stuff and prepare to move. But early on in the week I overloaded myself with a bunch of goals and thought I could simultaneously do all of them, and got overwhelmed, so I ended up just doing nothing. I had a really annoying work task which was actually probably only 4-5 hours of labor, but I kept not wanting to do it the whole week and kept putting it off. I straight up told my boss I can't concentrate and asked him to hold me accountable for it and then I eventually finally fucking got it done on Saturday at 1:51 am. I did sell off some of my things and sorted stuff I'll need to get rid of throughout the next few months (after I return from Nashville next month), but I wanted to do way more.

I recently joined the Day game whatsapp group from Mike Mehlman's website, and I think I've been spending too much time there. But I see a lot of guys getting results and I met a dude that has a lot of insider info about approach in Nashville. That being said, I've definitely been spending a lot of time there.

Also, I'm glad I downloaded the StayFree app, here's my stats now:

creepo wrote: ↑

Mon 2021-09-20 00:43

What worked for me was lowering my standards... having a sex life is better than no sex Life.
Then you can work your way to the top girls.
If i hadnt lowered my standards probably still would be inexperienced and depressed.
Think about It.

People tell me this (including on my thread here), and I've kept it in mind since I've been here.

A couple things I've observed:
- the girl's attractiveness seems to have no correlation with whether they're receptive to me, if they exchange, if they respond, if they flake, etc. I approach less attractive girls all the time, and it's basically no different to approaching a 10. some of them arguably end up playing more weird games like "oh if you see me again, you can get my number". that's not to say I'm going to reduce my approach volume but I've not noticed a difference in approaching 4s and 5s vs 9s and 10s
- the above being said, there ARE times less attractive girls hit on ME (even recently), and I've now realized it's a mistake that I didn't reciprocate because I wasn't really into her. so it seems the only way i can "lower my standards" is to just wait until the next time some girl seems into me and then really be aggressive with her, regardless of how attracted i am.
- the main deficiency I know I have is that I haven't been taking OLD seriously. I have profiles but no good pics and I don't pay for boosts, etc. I do swipe on like 80% of the girls though and I get maybe 1-2 matches a night. but I also don't swipe every night. I know I'm really neglecting this and I'm shooting myself in the foot by not doing this properly, just mentioning it for transparency.

I am willing to take some actionable steps to "lower my standards" but other than the above I don't know what else to do, so I'm open for advice on that front.

SamJ_ wrote: ↑

Mon 2021-09-20 01:22

Honestly it looks like you're addicted to your phone and the Internet

This has been a lifelong issue of mine, especially since I spent my formative years in Internet communities because I couldn't be myself in real life. In fact, I left every Internet community I was in months before joining here.

Maybe that's why I accidentally threw my phone in a fucking public garbage bin the other day, my subconscious was telling me what you were too haha.

I've been considering getting a flip phone and stashing this smartphone only for travel usage, maybe it's time I make that plunge.

Anyway FYI to the people checking out my thread since I'm not entitled to you having seen it all.

I currently live in a small city (~200k people) in Tennessee. I'm moving to Nashville, TN today for a month. Based on being there three times this year and consensus from others, it's the place to be. One of my friends in fact calls it the "gf store".

So I really hope this log is wildly different a week from now haha

I already knew this, but yeah the girls are WAY hotter here in Nashville. I really regret basically doing no approaches last week because I have major AA haha.

I went to Kroger at night just to do some shopping, and while there was no volume really, I would have gone up to all 5 girls I saw at the store if this was 3 weeks ago. (I also don't have a bed yet, but I bought one today and I'll pick that up tomorrow)

Anyway here's my 365 project entry for today: