brown shogun classic: 2021-2023

The universe has given you an abundance. You need to push all the other puppies in the litter aside and suck all of the milk from the teat. Doesn't matter if you're the smallest, weakest, ugliest, whatever puppy. You drink all the milk, you'll be the biggest and the best.

The above was from some motivational video a guy showed us pregaming in his hotel room and it really stuck with me.

Daygame
Thursday 1/13:
Roughly 45 approaches over 2.5 hours. Again, just totally guessing because I lost track after like 7 tops once the volume started getting high. Mix of high and low volume. Good amount of instant deflections (confidently says I have boyfriend, not interested, etc) unlike Wednesday, including girl I literally made direct eye contact with and stared at after walking away from a previous girl during high volume who was instantly "not interested" without me even approaching her. Like, yeah exactly.

3 intentional reapproaches, including Japanese girl I went on date with Wednesday. These were girls I'd already exchanged with who had ghosted me up until that point. Just "hey, what's up" for the most part and then pushing for ID + probing logistics for regular date again like any other approach.

0 instadates. Same deal as last time. Pushed 3-5x for it over short convo. If girl was off to class, I would have some kind of extended conversation and had many that lasted over 5+ minutes. Mainly had extended conversations because I wanted to gauge whether I thought the girl was cool or lame. I actually walked away from one girl who kept making busy excuses for future plans despite talking to her for a while. Basically in general if girl seemed lame, I'd walk away without bothering to exchange as usual.

5 numbers, 3 snapchats. Just winged it if I wanted to grab number or snap. If girl was in a hurry or something, usually grabbed snap since it's quicker to scan her QR code than stand there and type her number in. I noticed with my limited data set I was actually chatting with more of the girls I've exchanged snaps with, so I think snap vs number doesn't actually matter much, especially since I think younger girls just think snapchat is a messaging platform. Just exchange any form of contact as you please. Doesn't matter because you'll likely get ghosted/excuses at the same rate. It's just a numbers game and eventually one will hit and she'll meet up. What's also interesting is despite me picking up almost triple the amount of contacts yesterday as I did today, I got ghosted by nearly all of my contacts yesterday, while most of my contacts today responded and we're chatting. It's almost random.

I want to make a quick point about rejection. After probably ~1100 lifetime daygame approaches so far, I've ended up unintentionally reframing "getting rejected" as "this girl is making excuses and is lame". Like, I've inverted the paradigm. I don't even see "rejection as mileage" necessarily anymore. It's just, most girls are lame as fuck, but occasionally you'll find some cool girl you vibe with whom you'd actually want to continue an interaction with. That's why I've been able to walk away from many girls without bothering to take their contact, I'm like, what's the point. I don't even like this specific girl now and there's plenty of other girls I'd rather talk to. I'm acting as I please and if the girl doesn't like it, there's another girl who will like it. This isn't to say I should not improve myself and my personality should be static, but rather, I'm not trying to get the girl to like me. I'm seeing if I like the girl beyond her appearance.

Date
second date + pull + no hookup
Second date with Japanese girl from Wednesday. I don't think I've had a second date with a girl since like my 2nd-3rd lifetime approach ever back in September so that's interesting. We met Friday afternoon for some pho. Didn't need to seed pull as we'd already agreed to come back to my place after, so it was just "let's go" after 30 minutes or so.

I hadn't really made much physical contact with her yet so I decided to do hyper-beta thing of "hey let me show you how to skateboard" since we'd talked about that. So I had her balance and try to push herself off of my longboard and kinda made sure she didn't fall. That lasted probably around 5 minutes.

She had already said she had to go at 5pm to do more homework and we arrived at my place around 4:15. I was aware of the time constraint I had.

She came in my room and I locked the door. Sat on edge of my bed but refused to take off shoes or mask. It's like, I'm the only other person here but let's leave the mask on. Anyway, she kind of came here under the premise of "me teaching her how to use hellotalk" from our first date, so she immediately pulled out her phone and started talking about it. We talked about it for like 25+ minutes and I was mentally jamming myself trying to get her to sit farther back on bed or try to escalate in some way, while also engaging in a conversation. That was my main fuckup, I started the pull too long with chatting, rather than engaging in an activity where we could chill in silence. Maybe I should have talked about it for 2 minutes tops and then I would have had more time. Also I should have just sat farther back on bed where I wanted to and kept my frame instead of trying to sit near her, perhaps.

Anyway, when I finally realized what was happening, I switched the activity to listening to music. Girl still wouldn't come farther back so I sat next to her and like immediately put my arm around her. But it was too late because it was already around 4:45pm. I tried just pulling her mask down and she was like "no! no! no!" and then said she had to go do her homework. I was afraid of causing a big scene in my room since this is an AirBNB with 3 other people so I didn't push anything (I didn't realize there would be other people staying here before I booked the place). Walked her outside my place, tried to pull down mask again, same "no! no! no!" so I just walked back into my place without saying anything.

Usually I escalate within 2-5 minutes but that's because we're doing some activity that involves chilling in silence (like listening to music). But I learned that if we're doing something that involves chatting about something at my place, I won't be able to escalate because I'll mentally jam myself. On first date, I was just trying every possible scheme I could come up with to get her back at my place, without that awareness. But next time, I'll be wary of that, just make sure it's something that's not chatting a bunch at my place, and if it is, transitioning out of that as quickly as possible.

Nightgame
I met up with a bunch of guys from another group I'm in and also @lacroix once again for a nightgame session last night.

Tempe is great for nightgame, it's probably my favorite place I've been to so far for night. Great vibes and extremely high volume on the weekend (though low volume during the week). I highly recommend visiting for a weekend if you're into nightgame. Lots of cool games, great music, and girls are cute af.

Did probably around 15-20 approaches total last night. I winged one guy named Rick from the group who's extremely good at nightgame. Rick tends to have a lot of cool novelty items to interact with girls with, such as weed glasses, fuzzy scarf, and harmonica. It's a viable strategy for nightgame especially if you aren't already super jacked/sexual yet to open girls. I've come to understand over roughly lifetime ~300 night approaches that literally saying a single word to a girl at night means you're hitting on her. So you can say anything you want, just make the approach and get shit happening. For a girl at night, she doesn't care about being complimented, she's out to have fun. So a value you could immediately provide to the girl is fun, and then you can just escalate from there.

Got a bunch of instant deflections, which was standard and good. Also some conversations/dancing here and there.

At some point, Rick was showing off his skill at the boxing game where you try to punch this bag as hard as possible. Rick's not jacked or muscular at all, he looks more like Michael Phelps, quite lanky. But he does jiu jitsu professionally, and figured out the technique for this specific boxing game and gets around 800+/1000, beating many guys who look beefier and stockier than he.

I had never tried this boxing game in my life, so I gave it a shot. Gave it a punch but I think I kind of missed the bag and literally got 1 out of 1000. Literally the lowest possible score. At this point my brain went into overdrive. I was thinking about the video Rick showed us during the pregame about how you need to push all the other puppies aside and suck all the milk from the teat. If anything, I need to do that more than anyone else. So I got to work.

Immediately after, I literally just opened some girl with like "holy shit!!!! I got a freaking 1 on that boxing game, look!!! what the fuck hahahaha!" Chatted with the group, occasional hints of trying to shoo me away, but I just kept talking with them and acting as I pleased. There were a bunch of friends meeting up with this girl so I just introduced myself to each girl, as if I already belonged there. Some girl was sharing her Ritz crackers with me lol. Eventually this whole thing kinda disbanded and I did some more approaching around the dance area.

At some point I eventually had Rick's scarf, so I started incorporating that into getting girls to dance with me. Like putting the scarf over them and dancing with a bunch of them. I found that I got a good amount of girls to dance for a little bit and grabbed some asses here and there.

There was one duo with a tall white chick and a hot af half asian chick who was slightly taller than I (probably 5'8", i was 5'6.5" maybe with my boots) hanging out by the bar. Hot af, so I approached with scarf dance. Some brief dancing, but she kept trying to make excuses to get me to go away, and the friend did the same. I just kept telling myself "No, Fuck this" over and over. I want this. Some other guy even approached the white girl and started talking to both of them. I was so pissed, like "No, Fuck this" again. Managed to separate the half asian girl from the white chick and kept dancing with her. Twirled her around a bunch and got pretty close. Friend kept trying to pull her away, straight up ignored her and kept dancing. I just kept pushing like an asshole. Eventually went for a kiss and we started making out a bunch. Girl kept making excuses that she had to go, and I straight up ignored her and kept doing what I wanted. Madeout again. I tried to isolate her away from friend like "let's go to the first floor" and she made even more excuses and wouldn't budge despite me repeatedly pushing. I probably should have just taken her and probably could have even just spammed "just 5 minutes, just 5 minutes" but I didn't think to do that. Finally just decided to exchange snap with her and go approach some more girls.

Scarf-dance approached some other girls, couldn't get very far with any of them. Then I ran into the half asian chick whom I made out with prior maybe 5-10 minutes later. Was straight up like "I thought you were leaving." She's like "yeah I am!". Anyway danced with her some more and repeatedly pushed isolating her but wouldn't budge again. Madeout some more. Eventually I left again without saying anything.

Literally had sensory overload shortly after this and had to call it a night from there. Like, not necessarily from the music and lights (although that may have exacerbated it), but rather how much shit has changed for me over my week so far in Phoenix and I had to try to process it so I couldn't continue approaching even though there was still mad volume.

This chick was probably the hottest chick I've made out with, I think 6th kiss of my whole life? Like wing-eye makeup and super cute. Also I came to a realization that it doesn't mean jack shit, just as much as grabbing her contact doesn't mean jack shit. She kept acting the same and being lame with making excuses even though I managed to escalate up to making out multiple times, a first for me at night from an approach, and I only had 2/3 of a shot of alcohol the whole night. Reason I just kept pushing is because she was so hot and I really wanted it. I probably pushed for what I wanted in some way over 25x throughout our interactions. You just have to keep pushing the interaction as much as possible and then if she still won't budge, just go approach others.

Nightgame
Maybe 30+ approaches, 20+ instant deflections. Some conversations and dancing, but girls ran away before I managed to escalate. Dunno if I was too slow or just mostly lame girls.

Rick messaged our group chat at some point that he pulled+fooled around with this chick. He was like, anyone who potentially wants a threesome come find me. I was like, shit okay and decided to look for them. Literally went up to his hotel room at first but they weren't there. Later ran into them in line.

I decided to just hang around and see what would happen. Rick ended up telling this girl to makeout with me. So we did. She was like 5'9" and white. Then Rick was like "I gotta get this on snap/video!" so we madeout again.

I'm really glad I got to makeout with that hot half asian chick last night because I made that happen all on my own. And it made this one feel like "lol whatever okay who cares" since it was literally just given to me.

Honestly, her personality was kind of grating and she was acting ultra masculine. Reminded me of many chicks in Austin whom I met around my apartment.

We were trying to hook her up with @lacroix so we went up to his hotel room. She also "chose" another guy from the group whom she wanted to hook up with, and we ran into that guy later, and he came with us. Plan was to just leave them in hotel room with lacroix, and then Rick and I would bounce.

So we did that, and then later even lacroix was somehow super turned off by her as well so he left shortly after. She ended up hooking up with the other guy, and some other guy in a threesome. Then later she hooked up with yet another guy in our group.

Before I started going balls to the wall with dating, I was kind of like "omg kissing, wow!" But now I've kind of been seeing it as just some other escalation step. Like it's not a huge deal anymore. It does really get me aroused though and puts me in the mood with a girl though.

Anyway, leaving Phoenix tomorrow. Will be taking time off from focusing on dating for a while to catch up on work and sort out an environment where I can better make sustained progress over a longer period of time instead of just darting around the country. I really like Phoenix though and would consider visiting here in the distant future, it even seems like a great place to live.

ps: I got 846 on the punching game today. Way more proud of that, as I literally got 1 yesterday. Took me a couple rounds of getting 700+ but I finally got a decent score. Also I think I may have pulled my bicep doing another round after the 846 haha.

colgate wrote: ↑

Thu 2022-01-13 23:36

I decided to just hang around and see what would happen. Rick ended up telling this girl to makeout with me. So we did. She was like 5'9" and white. Then Rick was like "I gotta get this on snap/video!" so we madeout again.

So I've learned that this chick was in 10+ pornos. I guess I can say I've madeout with a pornstar now. Make of that what you will lol.

I literally was schizzing out at my parents' place from not being able to approach so I booked an AirBNB in San Jose for a week. I'm going to keep staying here for maybe a month until I get my future plans sorted out.

Strolled around getting a huge nostalgia blast though it's Sunday so no volume. Still couldn't resist approaching. I'm here because the realization that I can go up to nearly any girl and try to start something is irreversible and after how much shit happened to me in Phoenix last week, I can't not approach and stop dating. It felt like I unplugged a turbine on full blast for no reason so rather than sitting around trying to sort a long-term solution all day, I decided to come here in the interim.

I also spent some time reading @Suave1 's log as he had some success with approach on a campus. It's quite different than what I've been exposed to but doing approach blitzes on a campus means burning it down quickly and getting banned/blackballed (iow, even if you don't get explicitly banned, if all the girls know you're talking to them, I think you basically become notorious and none of the girls will meet you. Similar thing happened to @pancakemouse from approaching too many Argentinian girls and they all told each other, effectively closing him off from many girls).

I think @Suave1 's log has been brushed off under the radar in particular, mainly because he doesn't necessarily do "high volume approach", but I think more people should check it out. I say this because his log seems like what a normal guy on a campus would do if he wanted to hook up with girls at school, without reading a crazy amount of esoteric theory. He managed to get a couple hookups and a plate if I remember correctly last semester.

viewtopic.php?p=22824#p22824

Daygame
3 approaches. 1 instadate. 0 pull.

1 - Hot af asian with her mom. Literally couldn't not approach. Brief convo, and then they said they were in a rush and rejection on the contact exchange.
2 - Chick on skateboard, looked like hot white chick from Arizona. Except wasn't a chick. I said "yo", and then a deep male voice said "sorry?". Instantly ejected.
3 - I was sitting around chilling when a chick came over and sat down on a bench near me. She said "hi" to me. Then she meditated for like 10 minutes. I decided not to be a total asshole and control myself until she finished her round of meditation. Then I just went up and said "hey, I'm colgate". She ecstatically told me her name, and then I just asked her if she wanted to grab some boba tea. Agreed, and she wouldn't stop talking. She's some divorced yoga chick who was talking about how we're "living in multiple layers of simulations." Also talked about how "we should embrace life and take risks and explore" blah blah. Anyway, I went for the pull after 15-20 minutes after I finished my tea. Declined. Let's decline "taking the risk" of going back to random guy's place. Talked for another 20ish minutes and walked around. I went for the pull again 2x after that and she declined again, so we just exchanged.

colgate wrote: ↑

Mon 2022-01-24 12:05

Oh god, Man Jose. I'm so, so sorry.

If you go out to the suburbs or the tech complexes, yeah lol.

But the gender ratio at the uni is 51.3% female. Besides it doesn't matter because I remember being here years ago never approaching the swarms of hot college girls.

I guess I *will* use this reply to talk about two times I tried to "approach" girls while at uni, just completely organically.

1 - Random asian girl sitting by herself eating. I just went up and asked if I could eat with her. 30+ minute chat, I never bothered asking for her contact information.
2 - Japanese girl I overheard speaking Japanese. Just went up to her and said I'm learning Japanese (in Japanese) and exchanged LINE. Met up for Ethiopian food some days later. Then she blocked me on LINE.

colgate wrote: ↑

Sun 2021-09-19 23:36

I guess I came to the realization that a lot of my “male drive” has shriveled up because I spent the first 25 years of my life suppressing my feelings (both emotional and sexual), and now when I’m trying to go hard on self-improvement, my past suppression has manifested itself into a physiological issue.

But surely if I can train my body into having no male desire, I can train it back, right?

Was reading some of my old logs like an egomaniac again. I would like to tell September colgate that yes, it's possible.

I'm absolutely horny af like half of the day now. Don't really want to get too TMI but I don't feel like I have this problem anymore.

Especially after last week in Phoenix, where I got blueballed from my pull+no hookup and had 2 makeouts in 2 days from nightgame, I've been so hyper-thirsty now. Literally ate at the same Vietnamese noodle place with hot asian waitresses with long slutty nails and pumps two nights in a row and paid $25 both nights.

Just go out and approach a bunch of girls over several months, it freaking works lol.

Stealing this from @CainGettingLaid 's excellent post here as I've felt the same lately: viewtopic.php?p=27957#p27957

Struggling with the pussy beggar mindset

Do I really have this mindset?
Yeah I do. It's also a recent mindset as well. Now when I approach girls, I'm extremely eager to talk to her and be "hyper-pushy" about it. I thought it was just being forward, but I think it's coming off more like a child whining at his parents to "pleeeeeeeeaaase buy me mariokart omg i want it i want it!!!!"

This is also kind of a new feeling, because when I started approach, I hardly had any sex drive and the desire to actually sleep with girls was very latent. Honestly, it kind of started on an emotional premise of trying to gain back lost years of seeing so many cute girls in high school and college and not even realizing I could have just straight up approached them. But now I've pretty much satiated that desire as now I can literally go up to nearly any girl I want to in most situations anywhere, and my new unfilled desire is more primal and reptilian.

What is holding me back?
I'm naturally high-energy, and it's often uncontrolled and turns spastic. My natural state is a ball of plasma. I can do and enjoy an approach session on little to 0 hours of sleep even, and I'm literally usually up awake because I can't stop thinking about approaching more girls the next day. Usually on no sleep, I'm absolutely even more wired and spastic than usual.
1.5h of sleep: viewtopic.php?p=27153#p27153
no sleep at all: viewtopic.php?p=24349#p24349

Even on most days, I have to actively control myself and dial my energy way the fuck down, just in my general life. I used to literally run everywhere instead of walking like a normal person. If I couldn't focus on some work, I would go out and sprint like half a mile just to chill the fuck out and focus. My voice is extremely loud and inflects wildly, especially when I'm not thinking about it, and I can have high-paced chats about topics I'm interested in for hours. I can write long posts and spam chats with hundreds of messages a day. At night, I hate just having a conversation with some chick, I'm allured to the dance floor and just go wild, spam all the girls, grab their hands, twirl them around a bunch, grab their asses, etc.

Once I'd truly gotten over approach anxiety and physical contact anxiety, and started actually trying to escalate on girls, my general sex drive started coming back. Combined with what I've said above about being spastic, it's a perfect recipe for being a hyper-thirsty pussy beggar.

I literally have zero idea what types of girls this would even filter for, and I think it actually screens way too many of them out. If anything, I've noticed guys whom chicks generally are attracted to are calm, cool, and collected. The stability comes off as safety and I think that's comforting for girls. Meanwhile, I'm wild, reactive, and unpredictable.

Mental remedies
I had a pretty hallucinogenic vision (lol here we fucking go again with this shit) back in Nashville which I used for getting over being "sad" about negative outcomes and in turn, also being less "excited" about positive outcomes.

Take a square wave signal in an oscilloscope

The amplitude ("height") of the wave is quite high in this picture. If you're wildly reacting to both positive and negative outcomes, then this high amplitude square wave can model that.

The goal you should always have if you're trying to maintain a baseline is to squash this as much as possible into a flat line. That is, dial the magnitude of everything way the fuck down. Stop getting overly "excited" when something good happens to you, stop plummeting to rock bottom when something doesn't go your way. It's also what I see in my head while having a conversation with a chick, and I try to squash it down.

I mention this analogy because it worked for getting me back into approaching after getting kicked off the university campus in Nashville. So I ought to bring this back and use it as a general mental visual for maintaining a cooler and calmer presence, and dialing my thirst way the fuck down. Squash the waveform into a flat line as much as possible. Maintain your frame.

Practical changes/remedies
Shoot-the-shit bullet list:
- start using above mental trick to chill out
- figure out how to remind myself throughout the day to actively speak with a flatter tone, instead of just "forgetting"
- consciously dial myself down and being level before going up to a girl, instead of just impulsively opening or chasing her
- keep approaching girls, but be more cognizant of what I'm doing and ways to have fun with the girl during the approach''
- hit the gym consistently and keep the diet
- think about what incentive to girls have to see me. lean into those traits more and figure out what traits i need to develop to attract the types of girls i want

--

Once again, thanks @CainGettingLaid for realizing this mindset in himself and documenting how he's going to solve it

Hoping this provides some insight on what I currently feel like and what I can do about it.

Holden wrote: ↑

Wed 2022-01-26 20:54

Didn't read your post in detail but if you're high energy and you can't tone it down, you can just push her more, and let your high energy be the pull .Say stuff like "we're never going to work out", "I'm going to make you my best friend", "I can't deal with girls who [her hobby]" etc.

Are you doing stuff like this? If not, might be something worth trying.

Wow, I didn't realize this could actually be a vibe.

I did get that makeout with the hot half-asian chick in Phoenix from incessantly pushing like an asshole and giving zero fucks about her friend who thought I was "weird". I usually give up being pushy because I'm also impatient but if I leaned into it more and really did that more often I could potentially get some things to work out for me?

I have extremely few data points from other guys doing this which is why I started thinking about whether it's actually just coming off as hyper thirsty. Like I can't really act like "I don't care" or something yet and I just go off pure energy over anything else

I've posted a big table of my approach sessions and will probably update that, rather than making a post every time I do an approach session: viewtopic.php?p=18958#p18958

I plan on making posts about approach sessions when it's actually a session and not just a couple approaches here and there.

--

Daygame
Haven't done much approaching over the past few days because turns out my uni has online classes this week. I spent a couple hours each day walking around and only finding like 6 girls to talk to, tops.

Switched approach venues to a mall district a short drive away. I've heard guys pulling from IDs driving the girl in their car, so it was a limiting belief for me that I never did that back in Austin (I think I might have mentioned that in November too).

Anyway, 15 approaches, 0 instadates, 0 contacts over 1.5 hours. Haven't had a zero day since November.

I've been recording my approaches with @Manganiello and we've been trying to get feedback on them and evaluate our interactions. I'm noticing I could be doing better approaches from them, and I have some points I want to write up specifically later from a voice message Troy sent to us, but I'll try to keep them in mind. Seems like this mall district has acceptable volume even on weekday evenings, so I hope it's poppin this weekend.

Daygame
Friday 01/28: 2#/20. 1.5h
Saturday 01/29: 3#/30. 2.25h
Sunday 01/30: 4#/40. 3h

I've been doing inter mall approach over the weekend. There are two malls right across a large boulevard and I go between the two.

This is a completely different ballpark than strolling through a university campus. Typically at a university campus, I can have a short basic conversation with all the girls I approach. This was even true for the most part at the shopping districts in Austin.

On the other hand, I easily went over 30+ approaches over the past 3 days that lasted less than 10 seconds, and didn't even get past "Hi, excuse me" on a good bunch. This was quite rare up until now. It was hilarious to see girls changing their entire trajectory because I went up to them. Probably doesn't help that most of the girls I'm approaching are Asian women driving Mercedes-Benzes with expensive purses, but it's what I'm into. They also have pretty nails. Will take a bit to get used to this dynamic.

But this venue is good because it seems sustainable. I can't burn it down like a university campus, and I can hopefully stay under the radar of security if I don't act careless. I still have the nearby university campus as well where I can do approaches here and there while walking around town, but I'm probably going to avoid doing more than 10 approaches a day there. I basically need to use self-control and be discreet.

I wasn't able to get an instadate, but to be fair I've also been approaching duos and groups to try to get more approaches in. A couple of my exchanges were from those, and as I've probably mentioned in previous logs, I'm experimenting with having the girl introduce me to her friends so I don't seem like a social retard.

As I said in my last post, I've been recording some of my approaches. I still have a long way to go with not letting anxious plasma energy steamroll through the conversation and having a more masculine tonality (speaking more slowly, fewer upward inflections, not dragging out syllables), but I'll post some soundbytes here for people to listen to (chronological order). They're kind of long, but I greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to listen to them and give feedback:
https://www.sndup.net/rntd/
https://www.sndup.net/ftjv/
https://www.sndup.net/ssqz/
https://www.sndup.net/f2cx/

Here's a fun text conversation as a bonus:
Sugar baby date flake
Normally, I wouldn't have mentioned this as another section, but this was quite a bizarre approach + text conversation with a chick I approached on Saturday night.

I approached her at a crosswalk, and there was probably an audience of 10 people standing and waiting in silence. I open extremely short Spanish chick and every question I ask her, she's like "I'll tell you the next time we meet~". I'm like, great. Then she jumps to give me her number within 30 seconds of talking. Probably could have said something like "hold on, we barely know each other" and extended the conversation for a bit, but I was quite surprised so I just took it.

The next morning, she sends me this text: Literally every subsequent message she throws a kiss emoji at the end. Reminds me of how my mom texts me.

Anyway, she wanted "dinner and shopping" at an expensive restaurant in the mall, but I wanted a simple bar date. So she was like "text me when you're ready to take me out for dinner and shopping".

Initially I was just going to ghost her. But I got lots of conflicting advice from various guys ranging from "block and delete" to "go and meet up, divert the date location on the spot" to "shopping means she wants you to drill her bro!!". I came to a realization that I need to stop relying on other people to help me make decisions, and start thinking about + making my own decisions, regardless of my experience. So that's what I did.

I thought about it for probably 3 hours as I was going through my day, and figured ehhh, I probably need the fuck-up mileage since I have so little experience, and let's see where this goes. Then I texted "ok. meet me at the crosswalk where we first met." and she was like "see you then (kiss emoji). make sure to bring me flowers!" I was 0% looking forward to seeing her at this point.

I went to the mall to eat and do an approach session and figured I could just meet her at the end of my session. And my plan was if I did get an instadate, to cancel this date.

I didn't realize she changed the time to 6:30pm, but regardless she never sent me a text she was there. So maybe I was the one who flaked. Anyway, I walked by the crosswalk around 7:10pm and sent a text asking if she was by the crosswalk. No response. Kept doing some approaches, then sent another text that "okay, you never responded so the date is off, bye." In retrospect, I likely dodged a bullet/waste of time. And I absolutely cared less than zero because I was mid-approach session.