brown shogun classic: 2021-2023

ikebukuro station last night
going to start posting japanese logs for language practice too

I finally did my first approach session here in Japan.



When I initially arrived, I had a huge rush of stress/anxiety that I couldn't put into words. I had no words to turn the anxiety into excuses, it was just a pure chemical rush.

I walked around for a while to figure out a spot to write notes in my phone, but using my phone to type was so annoying, and I just needed to get a bunch of random shit off my chest. So I made a voice note instead.
https://voca.ro/11DpIZdahrFZ

After recording that message, I was able to settle into it, and I started feeling mildly high.

And from the high, I was able to start approaching girls.




I got instantly blown out on probably 80% of the approaches. But girls get approached all the time here in Japan, plus I experienced something similar back in California when I was also approaching all Asian girls.

The funniest convo I had went something like this:
well if you have plans, then let's exchange LINE
oh.....i dont use LINE
what??? everyone uses LINE. now you should too
yeah....but i don't know you...i dont give out my LINE to people i dont know
i dont know you either??? maybe you are a scary person
i'm scary???
yeah i dont know! so thats why i have to find out
hmmmmmmm....but i still dont know you....
here show me your QR code
nooooo...
you can just ignore my messages later if you change your mind
i'll just block you....
wow!!! isn't that a bit strict
but you're a foreigner....
yeah, haven't you ever thought what foreigners are like?
yeah i have....
after this i'm gone, i'm a foreigner and also speak japanese
hmmmm........im gonna go home.....
ok go home

I approached some more girls, and then took a break to buy and smoke some cigarettes.

wtf, this is fucking dumb. why am i smoking cigarettes. im already high from approaching. i hate this. do i want my life to be smoking fucking cigarettes? for this money i could have gotten another bulk meal. but who cares about the money. now i'm going to smell like i smoke cigarettes. and i'm giving myself dopamine for doing nothing but sucking in air. this is fucking stupid. you stupid retarded idiot

I went to the same convenience store where I had just purchased the cigarettes.

hey, i am going to stop smoking cigarettes from now on, so can you please throw this out
(with a slight smile). yes sir.

I heard another female convenience store employee giggle as I walked out. I made a promise to some randos that I will stop smoking cigarettes, so that means I have to stop now.

I also got to talk to some idol looking anime chick for a bit omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is this real???????????????? i'm finally speaking to the anime girls from anime??????????????????? not behind a screen????????????????????????????

I ended up trying to approach around 20 girls in 2-3 hours, though I could have approached way more. I had a bad habit of stalking girls for like 2-3 minutes before just bailing because I was like wtf this is dumb.

Also apparently, it's a thing in Japan to just start talking with a girl that's totally ignoring you and then if you stick it out long enough or say something interesting, she bites and starts engaging. This is completely new to me and I think I had maybe at least 3 or 4 opportunities to do it. It's very high tension for me so I'll just need to get into it.

MakingAComeback wrote: ↑

Wed 2022-11-23 20:58

Are you going to reach out to the Japanese Game community and get yourself further in?

I will at some point, but I want to take action and do research by myself first.

I definitely already am aware of the things I must focus on from America that carried over to here, and I have resources and inroads into figuring out whatever Japan-specific things are necessary.

I also have @Toast and another foreigner who lives here whom I plan on meeting with tomorrow evening.

But in general, I think I've been too attached to the validation of specific communities and people I look up to over actually focusing on the things that get me laid.

I know I succeed more when I eliminate distractions from my life, so I've been slowly nipping them one by one.

ego and app dating
okay, so immediately when i came here i was like "i will not use dating apps! i want my cold approach lay! and i hate using the apps!"

i had a similar attitude a year ago when i joined, and it basically took me 10 months to get over it.

and then i got laid.

i'll definitely get laid from cold approach here, it's a matter of hustle and effort.

but if my goal is japanese lay , then i need to start using the apps again

plus it'll get me more date experience, which i needed anyway in america, and i definitely need in japan, and which obviously transfers to cold approach

so the only reason not to do it is my overly inflated ego

niggaaaaa u literally hired 2 escorts in june and then got immediately laid from cold approach and apps

FUCK YO EGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME TO ESTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the video contents are basically what I'm writing in this log)

I've been using a health center sports gym with insufficient equipment to workout because it was just a 400 yen payment per session.

But I couldn't do leg day and the dumbbells only went up to 25kg.

So I finally registered for Gold's Gym.

...but it took me 3 tries LOL!

The first time, the staff told me I needed my passport and to bring gym shoes (in Japan, you have to have separate inside shoes for the gym lmao!).

The second time, I went to "Gold's Gym Premium" without knowing that there's a difference between the regular Gold's Gym and Gold's Gym "Premium". The "Premium" one just has a bunch of onsen, tanning, and massage things and there aren't many weight training machines, and they told me I should go register at the regular Gold's Gym.

Finally at the third Gold's Gym I was able to register. But she initially wanted to give me the "full-time" plan which means I could work out at any Gold's Gym in the east Japan region, when I only cared about working out at a specific gym. I was able to find out that there was a "daytime" plan which applies only to that gym and also switch my plan to that one.

And even though I would have to pay 6 months in advance since I don't have a Japanese bank account, I can cancel the plan at any point and receive most of the remaining months' share back.

I only mention all these details because this is the first time I had to try to register and negotiate something in Japanese. At this point, Japanese is kind of a pain but I basically have to get better at it to live here, and throwing myself in these situations will definitely improve that.




Also, I moved to around Shibuya so I have a permanent place until I leave Japan in February.

so the share house i moved in...happens to be full of players!!!

well there's one girl who's like a huge book nerd, but the other 2 are foreigner players who go out to the freaking bars and clubs and pull chicks

i was talking with them this morning, and one of them pulled a girl last night from a bar and told us the story in the common area

after that, i was walking down the street to get some food, ruminating on why i'm not that guy yet.

why am i so disabled by my brain

why do i enjoy staying inside my head more than interacting with people

why the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can i not be "that guy who is just totally chill and vibes with people" and i have to be this neurotic hyper-energetic spaz when i do feel good

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW TO BE CHILL????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

CHILL GUYS ALWAYS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i've seen it so often in my life, you can be some skinnyfat dork or some lard boy, but if you have that "cool, chill vibe" it like cancels everything out somehow

WHERE'S THE STRUCTURED PLAN TO BECOMING CHILL????????????
WE HAVE IT FOR LIFTING AND GETTING JACKED
WE HAVE IT FOR GETTING OVER APPROACH ANXIETY
WE HAVE IT FOR LEARNING A LANGUAGE
WE LITERALLY HAVE IT FOR EVERYTHING EXCEPT HAVING NORMAL BEHAVIORS WHEN INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me when i'm around new people:
quiet, antsy, tries to avoid saying anything, meekly asks a few questions here and there, tries to figure out how to leave the interaction without making it a big deal

me when i'm around people i'm comfortable with:
LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, HYPER, RANTS ON AND ON ABOUT WHATEVER THE FUCK

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need the sweet spot of vibe

the sweet spot of chill

give me the ice cream

i got my first contact in japan from cold approach!!!

japan rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am never living in america!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will die in japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aka the return of colgate ranting in english to his phone walking around tokyo streets at 2am (guys, it's journaling!!!)



lmao this is 50 minutes. but i actually want feedback, though watching the whole thing isn't required for the feedback i want.

most of these parts are entirely optional to watch and i even thought of taking them out, but i did end up summarizing myself in the video so i left it in, and i'll timestamp the video instead so you can watch as much as you want lol

0:00-0:20 - this is not a WEEB ANIME moment guys, japan is really my home!!!!!!!!!

part 1: 25 years outcast in america, childhood, adolescence, early adulthood
0:20-6:27 - being so much of a childhood outcast that i didn't even fit in with the dungeons of dragons nerds, getting into the online community of people making pretend video game music

6:28-11:48 - oops half of my entire social circle shoots up estrogen LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! also it's technically 99% male (also if i haven't made it clear already, my entire social circle i care about is on the internet)

11:49-13:38 - kill your inner loser, trying to get chicks and solve girl issues seriously for the first time ever.
btw footnote at 12:30, when i talk about being out of place at social events because i have no idea what normal people are interested in, that definitely applies to dates

part 2: japan allows me to make up for lost life experiences i was supposed to have without me even having that goal
13:39-15:27 - living with a japanese family and seeing a functional family like how i imagined when i was a kid for the first time in my life

15:28-18:57 - "japanese mom". japanese family (and some others) effectively fill in missing "mental" relationship roles

19:14-22:50 - various woes with trying to balance house setup and diving into approaching, aka colgate makes excuses for

22:51-25:30 - parallel universe music community in japan that's linked but not shared with the western one i'm a part of.

25:31-28:48 - surprisingly i am able to connect and PENETRATE!!!!!!!!!! the japanese parallel community because i'm well known enough in the western community that several japanese people know me as well, and i can also speak japanese fluently. i hit up a couple japanese ppl to tell them i'm moving to japan and i get invited to 10 billion events and even playing live, which i never did in my life in america. now im the fuckin cool guy

28:49-31:04 - the parallel japanese music community is actually normal??? and also it's not a sausagefest????????????????????? there are (plenty of) GIRLS????????????????????????????????????????????

31:05-32:45 - i actually fit in with the japanese music community, unlike i've ever fit in with any social circle in my entire life, irrespective of cultural and language barriers, and time as well. i'm now in a circle of people (mixed gender) going out and doing stuff together, and they are pushing me to actually make a fucking album for once and do live shows

32:46-37:00 - feet in two boats: i know i need to handle the girl thing, approach, and get laid. but i'm enjoying unexpectedly becoming a "normie" and having normal friends with a normal hobby and being supported/pushed to advance in that hobby by said friends. but not having the girl thing handled means even if i am supposedly a "normie" now, i can't capitalize on said girls in my surroundings,

part 3: PLS WATCH THIS PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need advice.......lol
37:00-39:42 - short summary of the previous 37 minutes of the video assuming you started watching this video from here lol

39:43-48:06 - OMG what should i do guys........................i have a normal social life and friends and i'm high value.........but i don't know how to capitalize on my value still..........but i'm riding the emotional high of finally being in this kind of position for the first time in my life.............so i'm not pissed off enough to start hustling with girls..................

48:07-end - conclusion

debrief of this video with @MakingAComeback

no poisoning the well!!!!!!!!!!!!!
first of all, as i said, even with my "high value" in this community of people, i don't have the ability to "capitalize on it". and even if i wanted to, i don't want to poison the well.

i know as long as i think i can't get girls, i'm going to be subconsciously hoping some girl from the japanese music scene will latch onto me and we will be bf and gf

ok but if drama happens there then i can't even enjoy music anymore. i remember i specifically didn't do music for my career because i wanted to make whatever music i wanted to, and i wanted to be able to relax with music and never feel stressed out about it.

the same should go with dating, now that i'm in that position. if i get with a girl by chance ok whatever cool but i don't want to be going to events and etc, knowing that i can't get girls, and just being "high value" isn't going to fix that.


DATING FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIRLS FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on the other hand, if i had my dating life solid, knowing i could approach some girls, fuck them, plate some, i could actually focus on music.

i don't think there's a better analogy than "feet in two boats" for this situation. i can't seriously focus on music if i know i'm supposed to be getting my dating life in order. i was trying to use it as a distraction, which means i can't really produce the quality i want to produce, vs when i'm just laser focused on music (like i was in the past).

the same thing applies with dating obviously. dude i was in the fuckin zone in july-august 2022. i had a lot of sticking points even then, and they were my biggest weak points of course, but that's because i was at the point where i had gotten over the easier points and now i had the more difficult weak points to conquer.

of course, that unwound over 6 months of basically not doing any dating. and it's not like i magically got over those weak points over the past 6 months. no, they are still there. reading the japan game book that @Toast only reminded me of them more and i was further drawn to "hobby escapism". and this time it was cloaked in "omg this isn't the internet though. these are ur real friends" (i mean they are my friends but they are not going to help me with dating lol)

...

i got 260 followers in a year, i can make that back and even more no problem because i'm already known by many people. i've deleted a ~400 follower acc in the past too.

this is my twitter account now: https://twitter.com/nuidekure
i need to earn 300 followers from doing cold approach, not coasting on music

https://twitter.com/kamiyoshi_nanpa just scroll through this account. my account will look like this soon.............

@Bman
@natedawg

i addressed this exact point at 42:00 in the video

tl;dw i think since i have been using music and its community as a distraction, rather than deliberately sitting down and getting shit done, i'm just dicking around in the DAW and then browsing Twitter and other musicians. because when i realize "oh i needed to do x slightly hard thing in this project to make it good", i actually realize "wait i said in my schedule i should actually be going out and approaching/reading this nampa resource/xyzabc"

i guess i didn't mention this, but I've been doing day structures @MakingAComeback style with varied success. where you list activities throughout the day by time.

but! nothing is stopping me from concurrently assigning time for music so i can have a high quality session. on the other hand, it really isn't a priority because i still juggle going to the gym, eating (yes this is a nontrivial chunk of time), nampa, and studying japanese (which i was doing great with until i started tiptoeing in music again).

my OG plan was to completely ignore music except for maybe going to events now and then and prepping live stuff until i figured out dating and girls here. but I've been paying way too much attention to it (browsing Twitter, replying to people there, checking out loads of new music I've never heard etc) because of the social dopamine hits i get for literally existing, and getting previously unmet social validation needs met.

this post was not "what should i focus on" but rather "how can i dive into girls again and not derail myself"