brown shogun classic: 2021-2023

Felt like doing a video log before I went out today


I drove into downtown Nashville around 2 hours before my date to do some of the Approach Anxiety program and explore by myself a bit. Got 1 set of day 6 done, and 2 reps of the 2nd set. This time I even did it while wearing a watch!

I felt really good and confident, and I even just started chatting up random strangers who were walking around. I definitely feel a lot better during the day, and I'm starting to get a real taste of social freedom. I still feel like a dog who accidentally got table droppings of social freedom, but at least I'm finally eating more than the kibble of complacency to the world. My next goal after I get laid (once) is definitely going to be grinding at becoming more socially free and dominant, rather than being an invisible vessel in the world.

Regarding the date, I called her sexy when we met and she giggled and we hugged. We hung out at the coffee shop and talked for a bit, and then I said let's get out of here. I paid for her tea. We were kind of just walking around but I got trapped in my head and didn't really make any moves to hold her hand or do any escalation.

She saw the Musicians Hall of Fame and wanted to go there so we went. She insisted on paying for our tickets so I let her pay most of it, but I got maybe 20% of it. We walked into an intro movie theater and I asked to hold her hand but she said "no it's okay" and I felt kind of dejected. So I decided to switch off and just explore the museum with her for a bit.

There was this section with some instruments and I played some of them. There was one in particular that was just a launchpad type drum machine like this:

It had two sets of headphones so I invited her to put on the other pair and join me, and we jammed out on that pad for maybe a whole hour and dancing to our beats. I was keeping the groove while she did some sound effects here and there, and sometimes she was wooing at random fills I did and swaying her hips more...god I wanted that moment to last forever. I just felt in the zone and I guess it was kind of medicine for earlier. We only stopped because an employee came up to us and said the museum was closing.

There were so many opportunities in the museum I could have done something physical but I couldn't and I was really teetering the line between having a good time and trying to make moves on her and getting stressed out. The most I was able to do is get some selfies where I pulled her into me and held her.

She had an appointment in about an hour after we left the museum so we walked around some more, mostly a repeat of earlier. I guess I'm too good of a conversationalist and terrible at advancing anything and I really don't know what to do.

I offered to drive her to her appointment and she said yeah that would be great. I also felt like at least driving through Broadway where I went last night and showing her that on the way because she kept mentioning it while we were talking when I told her about going there last night.

I also asked her if she wanted to come back to my place after her dance lesson but she declined with a "but thank you". When we reached we hugged and left with a "now you have a friend in Mexico"

I'm really mixed and confused at what I feel about this.

I feel angry and disappointed in myself that I kept pussing out and not knowing what to do to escalate things, and not being pushy enough (I have heard from Andy's podcasts and others that don't take the first rejection as a flat no, but that's basically what I did with this girl the whole time). The only hail mary I have is I could still text her and ask if she's changed her mind (her reason for declining was that she wants to hang out with her friend that she's staying with, even though they plan on hanging out tomorrow and I'm leaving Nashville tomorrow, and in retrospect I really regret not "solving that problem" and pushing her on that point).

I also feel bad that I feel bad about this because at the end of the day, I did actually have a good time with her and even though it wasn't what I wanted, it doesn't seem bad.

I really need some real talk to get me in shape. I feel like I just let the universe fuck me into complacency and then it gives me some candy to keep me from getting "out of line" again. That's what last night felt like, and that's what today felt like.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've learned how to give myself permission to suck, but now I want to suck less...ugh lol

Jacobpalmer123 wrote: ↑

Fri 2021-08-13 09:32

I am trying something new where I try to make-out with girls at the 30 min to 1 hour point in dates. Because everyone knows the end of the date it's going to happen. And if she rejects the kiss you move on. The best dates the kiss happened before the end. I remember I was playing video games with this girl and she was lying on the couch and I just kissed her. And if you tell yourself girls make no sense they will make more sense.

Anyway tomorrow is a new day try again

Have you been able to go for the kiss before you get physical with them otherwise (beyond just hugging)? And how do you even initiate it during just a date?

I've only kissed 2 girls in my life so far. The first time she was literally in bed with me (I probably would have already gotten laid by now if I didn't get blueballed, story for another day).

The second time I was dancing at a club a few months ago with a girl and were getting really erotic and I was grabbing her ass. I just said fuck it and grabbed her titty and she looked at me and went straight for my face and we made out on the dance floor. oh man that was fucking awesome haha.

But those were both one off moments and it just "felt right", and I don't know how to create them myself.

Quick video update, it's short so you can just watch it lol


tldw: starting to get comfortable with going out at night by just chilling, and approached a girl (no number)

I'll start with this long emotional rollercoaster video that I made 2 nights ago


I thought the place I was going to go next on Friday night was another club, but it was just a bar open until 3 am. Pretty cute girl walked near me while I was sitting at the bar so I just chatted her up, but wasn't really in "getting her number" mode. I did ask who she came with and she said she was sitting with her co-workers, so I just asked if I could join.

So I started hanging out with them, and I got to look into the window of what "normal social interaction" is like. Everyone was being really physical, the girl was even hugging and pecking other male coworkers.

They went to another kinda dead bar and I just went along with them but we didn't do anything. Actually I kind of had a feeling of wanting to leave more than an hour ago but I was too complacent and lazy to be like "yo guys I gotta go". I had this dumb feeling that I had to make it some big deal that I was going and I couldn't just leave, which I should have. Eventually some of us were walking down the street (me and 3 other girls), but the first girl was suuuper drunk and her friends were trying to lead her back to their car, and I was just like, eh I'll just leave the group with no words (finally).

I really need to work on my neediness to other people. If my body is a car, then my desires are just cargo in the trunk, locked away and existing, but with no input on where we're going. My default behavior is just being passive and going with the flow, even though I actually want to do something different.

This is a deeper issue beyond "knowing what to say". While I'm getting comfortable with cold approaching (my volume is still quite low) and flirting, it all seems cerebral. On the other hand, if I just turn off, or I don't know what else to do, I just do nothing and I exist .

Case in point, when I went out with that girl in Nashville, I was able to get her number and go on some dates, but when it came time to make the moves, I almost couldn't actually believe I could do it, and I basically did nothing. I just handed the wheel over to fate, and got really frustrated that my desires couldn't control the car anymore.

It was the same with this group of people, I just hung out and after a while I basically did nothing and I felt really out of place.

I just want to have control of my life.

Went out yesterday to buy a used DSLR. My city only has a few places to meet people, and I'm basically not serious about getting laid until I start taking online dating more seriously.

It's a Nikon D50

I also tried to go out to approach girls, but I made a bullshit excuse that I was super tired and I just sat around in the park doing nothing. Cargo in the trunk mode again

I went to the One boba shop in my city and there was this cute nerdy girl standing in front of me. I was mentally humming and hawing about approaching her, but then she actually asked me "hey what do you recommend?" and we started chatting a bit.

I wanted to escalate this interaction that seemed to just fall in my lap, so I told her I really appreciated her approaching me because I wanted to talk to her (forgot to call her cute ugh lol). I asked her if she wanted to go out with me to the riverfront after work (she was in a work uniform). She said, oh I work really late, I asked her "until what time?", she replied 12:30. I asked if she was free tomorrow, and she said that she was also working late. After asking her if she was free any days of the week, she just said she works 7 days a week, so I think she just didn't want to meet.

I wanted to get her number, but she said "oh my phone doesn't work" but she pulled it out anyway (it was a flip phone, based). I decided I need to start being pushy now, so I asked what her number was anyway, but she said "oh I really don't remember my number...", I told her if she goes to her phone's settings she can get it, but she was just playing with her phone and going on random menus. I then just said "ok take my number" and she put it in, although I doubt she will contact me.

In one aspect I felt like we were on the same wavelength with being awkward and making dumb white lies to get out of situations (it's something I used to do and I'm really working on stopping that myself), so I think she was doing the same to me.

I guess I learned that I need to be more pushy in general, and girls in general will seem to just follow along with you if you're really sure and pushy. If you're passive and kind of just hint at things, they don't respond well.

In the interest of being less aimless and passive, I'm gonna start posting a couple of set tasks to do for the day, and then check in at the end of the day.

Sun 8/15/21:
- Eat breakfast (putting food here, because I need to make sure I eat enough for my workout goals)
- Clean room - bad time management today
- Clean kitchen
- Scope out another mall I've not been to - bad time management, malls close at 6 pm on Sundays
- Approach 5 girls (either at this new mall, or the usual mall) - approached 1/5, pussed out too much (see later post for details)
- Set up Tinder profile - set up and swiped a bunch
- Eat dinner - made a deal with myself to approach 5 girls or no dinner, failed deal

Warlord wrote: ↑

Mon 2021-08-16 01:10

If that is correct I suggest doing BOYFRIEND GAME.

Do you have any methods/links for boyfriend game? I might ask my roommate's gf if she has any single friends but that's literally the only person I know in this whole city.

I guess I got the number of one girl that I met in the park playing frisbee, but I've not texted her yet. I wasn't really sure what to do because I didn't really approach her like "yo you're cute" (I approached her and her male friends with one of the AA drills).

Oh yeah, I'm gonna pause on the AA program for now because I'm feeling confident about going up to girls and asking for their number now. I'm gonna test starting with 5 girls a day, and then try to ramp that up.

If I can't approach 5 girls today, I'll go back to the AA program tomorrow.

@Warlord

That sounds like an interesting idea, I'll think about it.

I think there is a certain niche of girls that are attracted to me if they know me (slightly chubby types), but I've always turned them down in the past when they make advances on me. I'll consider adding to my pool of girls I'm interested in hitting on when I go out.

That will also force me to hit on more girls, which is always a good thing.