brown shogun classic: 2021-2023

KillYourInnerLoser wrote: ↑

Wed 2021-10-06 06:15

Life's easier when you don't do this kinda shit... Next time just walk away.

I'm out approaching right now and I read this before I started, and I still got into a "discussion" with someone.

I don't know why, I really need to work on walking away in general. I don't need to justify what I'm doing to anyone. Thanks for pointing it out.

lacroix wrote: ↑

Sun 2021-10-10 08:05

"Discussions," or arguments where someone else is trying to stop you from doing what you're doing? Agreed that it's not worth getting into arguments, but at the end of the day it's best to do what you want.

Yeah basically. I'm working on it, but I think it stems from me caring too much about what others think of me, so I feel like I have to "justify" my behavior to anyone who challenges me.

On the day of that argument, I thought I was in "the right" because I "stood my ground" and didn't let anyone try to guilt me. But in retrospect, it was really silly and I "lost" by even entertaining the discussion. I should have "walked away".

If anyone has some guides/books/methods relating to being your own person and not seeking approval from other people, I'd really like to read them because I feel like it's a huge hurdle for me right now.

uh kind of another lolz day

Food
- rest of the pizza from yesterday
- bigass chipotle burrito
- mexican coke
^definitely not enough calories

Daygame
Total: 2/8

I started trying to do a session near the uni, but I have way too much AA again because I think everyone knows me (which isn't that far from the truth). I only got 2 approaches and I didn't even ask the 2nd one for her number after she declined my instadate because I was so soft.

Switched to the mall. It was alright at first, but I dipped real early because I'm too paranoid about security (see my Notable Approaches)
Notable Approaches
Trio (1 male, 2 female). Guy tells me I said the same thing to one of his friends. I'm like "oh really" and I continue with the approach and get an exchange. Later in the night when I'm chilling at home, we have this conversation. It goes into haram territory past this so I'm only posting this much lolz. --
I run into a chick with a mask. Got declined. Later, I approach a chick sitting at a table studying and didn't recognize that it was the same chick with the mask from earlier (also she took off her jacket so I didn't recognize the clothing either). She tells me that I should go to church and socialize instead of calling girls cute at the mall. I dip from the mall after this re-approach because it was haram....(and I wasn't sure if I was gonna get reported to security. don't wanna get kicked out on my 2nd mall sesh lmao)

Work
Did a little bit but not as much as I wanted to.

365 project
Spent the rest of the night finishing the song I wrote yesterday.



Notes
Much of my initial confidence from cold approach was from getting a lot of positive feedback from anyone I talked to about it irl, and even strangers. Also I had a tendency to get too excited about positive outcomes and failing to maintain a baseline. This means I took rejections that weren't just "oh sorry I have a boyfriend" too personally and it got me too demotivated. I remember 2 weeks ago I had a 4/~35 stretch of "aggressively unreceptive" girls and that got me way too down, even though I feel like when you have negative tilts, a streak of aggressively unreceptive girls is kinda normal.
The next step of growth for me is to really dial it back when I get positive outcomes, and live up to my motto that "rejection is mileage", and that includes "aggressive" rejections.

writing this for accountability

Food
500g chicken thighs
6 sunnyside up eggs
3 cups milk
Kashi GO! 12g protein cereal
Wendy's bacon cheeseburger + bacon fries
^probably 3000 cal???

No approaches today. But I caught up on work (finally lol).

365 project

For the first time ever in this log, I would like to say that I had decent time management. lol

I woke up at 10:30 which is like 2 hours later than I wanted to, but from there I actually got a good amount of work done and was able to stay focused. Just need to get up earlier now.

Gym
Bench Press 5x3 - 170x3/170x3/170x3/170x1(failed)/155x5
DB Bench 3x10 - 45x10/45x10/45x8(failed)
Dips 3x10 - 10/10/8(failed)

Going to try something closer to push/pull/legs and go to the gym 5x instead of 3x a week full body. I really felt good after today's workout and my chest was pretty sore. I'm also paying a lot of money for the one gym with decent equipment in Nashville so I might as well make good use of it.

Food
- 2 slices of pizza (1000 cal)
- 40g protein meal replacement shake w/ soymilk
- 24g protein shake
- Wendy's burger + fries + frosty
- 2 cups whole milk
- 6 raw egg yolks
^uh, maybe 2500 cal?

Daygame
Gym: 0/1
Streets: 0/6 - new street I've never approached. Had about 15/hr volume but I definitely was being more selective with whom I approached since I want instadates. (I say this, but maybe it was an excuse not to do more dicey approaches lol)
Mall: 0.5/5 (see below lol)
Whole Foods: 1/1
Total: 1.5/13

Trying to build a more solid foundation for confidence. As I said in a previous log, I think my initial confidence for cold approach came from me telling others what I'm doing and them encouraging me and giving me positive feedback, which resulted in me having a hard time dealing with negative feedback. Additionally, I've fallen a few rungs on the cold approach ladder and no longer can I just zone in and do a bunch of approaches and not focus on counting my approaches. So I decided to go out and get 12 rejections, instead of x approaches. I got 11.5 (I'll explain what the 0.5 is below), so I didn't really reach that goal, but I think actively seeking rejections will help me get back into being process-oriented and enjoy approach sessions again, WITHOUT the crutch of others "approving" what I'm doing.

Notable approaches
what I thought was a duo turns into a quad. girl and her friends uncontrollably laugh but I ultimately get declined with "I'm moving in a few days". I'm way softer than I was 2 weeks ago so I ejected immediately, but probably I would have had more fun with this if I was more confident.
--
chick declines me with "I'm literally not joking right now I'm moving to New York tomorrow" even tho she has a bigass wedding ring
--
"0.5": i approach a black employee with crazy hair and she declines an exchange but she's like i'll be here tomorrow. so I'm like "so you're trying to tell me to come back tomorrow" and she's like "maybe, yeah". not sure if this is a rejection haha, and i also dont know what to do with this one

365 project

Spent only around 15-20 minutes. I was in a video call with one of my friends and I decided to make a song for her over the call.

Notes
I've realized I've become very socially uncalibrated (retarded) over the past year and a half. I literally have no friends (other than my roommates). I used to have a large social circle up until 2020 when the pandemic hit. To make things worse, I jettisoned myself 2000 miles from my old place, and I never made a real social circle there. Now I'm in Nashville, but I'm basically in the same position I was as in my old town, I don't have a social circle and haven't had one for a year and a half.
My approaches have been very robotic and short for the most part and I think that might be ineffective in America (based on some conversations I've had with a dude who has cold approached in many places in this country). I do honestly want to move to Japan or some European country and do intra-station 80+ approaches a day, but it definitely seems being socially retarded is a huge disadvantage in America, especially since getting that kind of volume regularly is extremely difficult (I've basically exhausted the university).
I'm going to start looking for some Meetups and try to develop some kind of social circle. The easy way to do this would be to maybe actually go to grad school, but I'm not really sure if I want to do that, also that would start a year from now, and I'm always thinking about what I can do right now. I think I need to have a friend circle so I can become socially aware again, because it's certainly a disadvantage to have low social skills.

Mack wrote: ↑

Tue 2021-10-12 23:51

what makes you think this? when talking to people do you feel uncalibrated? could you elaborate please?

I think it's more apparent when I'm talking to girls at night. I've observed I'll freak out and dip from the conversation pretty early because I can't sit there and handle the "tension" of not having anything to talk about. This would probably get better with more experience.

I also feel like a *total* outsider here in Nashville. Like the only thing I feel like I have in common with anyone is that we speak English. This is probably because I've not actually tried to look for people who share my interests and instead I was just mass approaching women and randomly going to bars/clubs where I hate the music to try to screen for girls. Not that I should stop doing those, but I've come to realize why going out solo is a big deal now. For context, the first time I ever went to a night club/bar was April of this year, and I was solo. I've never had a friend circle into clubbing. So I feel like if I want to continue down this route, as @lacroix mentioned, I need to figure out how to make friends who party. This inexperience makes me feel like I'm "socially uncalibrated" simply due to lack of exposure to this environment.

Feeling like an outsider wouldn't get to me as much if I were in a different country and you get some leeway for being a foreigner in those cases, but I don't get any leeway for being socially inept as a native resident which is why I think I'm going to have to face it and work on that.

Woke up late and ended up not going to the gym and also missed part of a work meeting ugh lol. But from there I had ok time management and got stuff done.

Food
400g chicken thighs
4 sunnyside up eggs
giant pretzel with nacho cheese
burger and fries
2 cups whole milk

Daygame
0/3
I went to a different mall I hadn't been to before, but it's just a bunch of department stores and I only saw a few girls to talk to. Maybe I'll check it out on the weekend or something.

Social Life
I signed up for a "stoics meetup" from Meetup.com for tomorrow evening. I think I'm super neurotic and "hysterical" by default and it'd be good to associate with people who are better at maintaining "baselines".


I may have my first cold approach date tomorrow (arranged through text). It's at 11:30am and I only have about an hour and a half but I live 5 min from the boba tea cafe so if I'm fast I might be able to pull??? I'm also thinking about texting her tomorrow and seeing if she's down to meet in the evening or something instead.

lacroix wrote: ↑

Wed 2021-10-13 07:05

"Building an emotional connection"--I really do feel this is so important for making friends, getting girls.

I think you succinctly expressed a frustration I have that I autistically coined as "socially uncalibrated" haha. Like I have definitely forgotten how to build emotional connections and my emotional intelligence has plummeted from lack of social interaction other than with a few select people whom I was already friends with over the past year and a half. That's why I really want to try to expand my social circle more.

I went on my first cold approach date (from my mass Nashville approaching) with a girl I met on 9/22. We had like 3 weeks of text rally which was basically "hey what are u up to this week" "im busy with classes", and then at some point (idea stolen from @Manganiello ), I was just like "we dont have to meet if you're that busy" and she was like okay.....

Then she proposed we meet for lunch from 11:30am-1pm. I asked if we could meet in the evening but she said she was busy, so I just decided to go on the date for xp. Food took a while to come and I didn't want her to be late for class (but maybe this is an excuse) so I didn't try to pull. I kind of suggested we meet later today or maybe some other evening and she was like yeah you can text me (but that means nothing). Btw, I didn't pay for her lunch (normally I just do cafe dates and buy the girl a coffee but this was a full on lunch and I knew pulling or something would be basically impossible).

So at 12:30 I was just like okay let's go and we walked for a little bit and talked. I told her I had to go to my car and she should walk with me. She was like "uhhh this is sus but ok", but then she was like "actually im gonna go to class". I then was like "lets kiss" and she was like no but we hugged. Probably shouldn't have asked and just gone for it like I did with that instadate 3 weeks ago, but it was kind of really sudden.

Then I tried to look for my car but it got towed. So then I was down $225+uber to get it back. So this became my most expensive date, and probably will be my most expensive date ever. Also I had to postpone my gym session to the evening just to do this date, and I don't want to do that again so I'll probably defer any dates that are this early in the day, especially if the girl is like "I have class in 1 hour". tbh I accepted this date because I just wanted to say that I got a date from my mass campus approaching 2-3 weeks ago.

I'm alright with this date though. I got a girl to meetup after being a persistent asshole for like 3 weeks. Baby steps lol.

Food
- Ramen
- 500g chicken thighs
- 40g protein meal replacement shake with soymilk
- 40g protein shake from gym
- Wendy's burger + fries

Social Life
Attended a Stoicism meeting from Meetup.com. I have zero exposure to Stoicism, but I want to get better at maintaining a baseline and not reacting so much to outcomes. They gave me a packet of info which I annotated during the meeting, but I also participated in the discussion. I don't want to dump a bunch of untested theory here, but I got a lot of really helpful advice which I'll talk about in future posts if I apply them and see some changes in my life.

The main point of value I got from this meeting was "you can't control outcomes but you can control how you react to those outcomes".

Gym
Deadlift - 135x10/210x5/275x5/295x3/315x1
Pullups 5x5 - 30x5/30x5/30x5/30x5(bad last rep)/30x5(bad last rep)/0x3
DB Rows 3x10 - 50x10/50x10/50x10

Daygame
Went to Walmart to buy a bunch of boys' size 10-12 black shirts since they fit me better at 10:30pm. Approached one chick while I was there who called me "cute" back but she had a boyfriend and kids (who were not with her when I approached).

Food
- Nashville Hot Chicken with Fries and Mac n Cheese

Daygame
I didn't plan on approaching today, but I saw an ultra hottie in a 2 guys 2 girls quad while I was eating and I couldn't resist an approach. She said she was leaving tomorrow, so then I just asked what she was doing tonight. She said she hadn't figured it out yet, but I told we should exchange phone numbers and I'll text her in a few hours to see what she's up to. Exchanged, I texted a few hours later and no response as per standard. My thinking was maybe I could go out later tonight and have a group of people to chill with even if I don't do anything with her.


I'm going to Austin, TX for the weekend to meet up with someone I've been receiving a lot of mentoring from in the daygame chat who has a lot of experience with day and nightgame.