0/15~20 at night in ~2h
Went with my roommate and his gf again to 2 parties. Did a solid 0 approaches at that one, but I already saw black dudes screening/escalating on some chicks. I really gotta pay attention to those guys. Did 1 approach at the second party and put my arm around the girl for a bit but we were like about to leave. I maybe should have kept talking to her lol.
So we were back home around midnight so I decided to run a nightgame session for a couple hours.
First approach was an instant deflection. "hey what's up, you're really cute" "ok bye" "pfffft fuck this"
Then I found some trio with cat makeup waiting in line. Told the girl she's a really cute kitten. Seemed pretty neutral so I rolled with it and told them I'm gonna chill with y'all in this joint. Chatted in line and we go in and I have my arm around this girl and we keep talking. She seems as neutral as she was when I approached so I decided to dial it back and hang out on the dance floor and periodically go back and talk to them waiting by the bar. At some point I take her hand like "come on let's go dance" and she declines. I think I pushed 1-2x but idr. So I just went back to the dance floor and did another approach and left.
More street approaches and bar approaches, etc. Had one where I opened the girl and then this big dude shows up and she's like "this is my boyfriend" so I just leave without saying anything.
Then I run into some ultra plastered dude with his sober friend at a crosswalk asking me for directions somewhere. I ask him what he's up to and then I tell him "let's approach some girls". He's like "awww yea lets get some bitches". I do probably 3-4 approaches in front of them but I didn't have them wing me (maybe I should have lol, I just wanted to approach). We go to the place he was looking for but it was basically dead, so I tell them I know a place with a lot more people and take them there. At first I was one club off and I'm like shit, let's go to the one next door I think that one is better. But the ultra plastered dude is barely cognizant and I have to drag him out. I have him take a hit of my vape to see if it'll wake him up and it kinda did. We manage to go to the poppin club but he gets kicked out in the middle of trying to walk up to some group of girls. I tell his friend "I'm gonna go up are you gonna check on your friend or come with me". He's just like "I didn't see anything, let's go", so we go up.
I approach a black trio. I open a girl but she gets on the phone so I just start dancing with her even hotter and tall black friend. We're dancing and I've got my hand on her waist and we're kinda close. I bounce her to another part of the dance floor (rookie error I think actually I could have continued physically escalating). We are like plowing through all these people and like 2 or 3 dudes try to open her but she ignores them haha. Anyway, we finally get to the other side of the dance floor and there are way more people (why did I bounce her over here again???) and she sticks her ass out at me and I grab it. Then she scurries off.
The last approach I remember was there were these 2 girls who walked near me while I was looking down at the dance floor from the rafters. Easiest approach ever, right? Except I don't approach for a solid minute. Then they walk towards the elevator and someone else is waiting. I'm like, great, this went from a 1 to a 7~8. So I go up and say hi. The elevator opens and I hadn't even actually finished opening the girl so I just decide fuck it and walk in. Dead silent elevator and there's another dude there too. So I just tell the girl I think she's very cute and she giggles and we chat for 15-30 seconds until the elevator stopped. Then they walk ahead of me to these barstools so i just go and sit down. Then they walk away.
I'm trying to find the balance between being sufficiently aggressive but also not needy and "chasing" the girl. I think I also took many rejections too early and didn't push through on a couple neutral girls. And I could have done maybe 30 approaches but I pussed out on maybe 10~15 girls tonight.
Sat 2021-10-30 18:32
Sun 2021-10-31 19:43
1/25~30 + 2 snapchats at night in ~3h. The snaps were from girls I asked to take pics with who accepted (they were all using snapchat), so I felt it was just natural to ask for the snap to get the pic. Sideways pic because I can.
I definitely feel more audacious on the street than I do inside bars/clubs. I think I'm the worst on dance floors. And I'm still not aggressive (in a good way) enough to girls who are receptive to me.
I think I'm really bad at figuring out what to do with receptive/neutral girls. I remembered GLL basically asks if he can steal the friend from some of his videos, but I literally remembered that just now.
Will be doing Santa costume tomorrow because it's Halloween. Probably should have done it tonight but I didn't. One girl asked me what my costume was and I just said I was a badass.
Notable approaches (no solo girls btw, I've never seen a solo girl at night):
* I decide to be a total idiot and open 2 obviously non-Japanese Asian girls (they were Filipina) in Japanese. They obviously didn't understand what I was saying so I was like "oh y'all don't know Japanese?" Then they called me racist, and I said, well what race do you think I am? They said Arab and I was like yeah, exactly (I'm Indian). Told them I thought it would be funny if they spoke to me in Arabic. Then I acknowledged I was being weird and called one of the girls cute and put my arm around her and we had a normal chat for a bit. Then I tried to bounce them inside somewhere but she said she has a boyfriend so I told her I'll be her Nashville boyfriend (I used this line to a lot of girls tonight haha). Then they walked off.
* Couldn't figure out some girls' wizard of oz costumes because I don't know any movies. I said yeah I'm really bad at guessing those. Girl was neutral to me having my arm around her. Tried to bounce her inside somewhere but she said she had to stay with her friends. She didn't want to leave her friends so I just told the friends come on let's all go. They said nah we'll chill here after pushing 2-3x. Then they literally walked over 12 steps and I just stayed where I was and left instead of following them.
* I open girl in line while waiting and she instantly deflects and I get closed off. Her friend comes in line and accidentally bumps into me and so I just start talking to her. But then she kinda scurries off into her group too.
* Approach some neutral mermaid girl on a rooftop bar. After opening her I ask what her drink is. Literally can't understand her like 5x so I use this as a convenient opportunity to put my arm around her. Finally says that the drink is "sex on the beach". I'm like "give me a taste of sex on the beach" or something. She says no. I'm like "how much was that drink?" Doesn't tell me. I offer her $1 to give me a sip because that's probably how much 1 sip would cost. Declines again and tells me to get my own. So I order a gin and tonic. We ended up chatting for another 8-10 minutes but my rookie error here was not trying to bounce her off the rooftop bar a single time. I think she was just extremely neutral, but I should have tried at least once. Friend asks me where the bathroom is. I knew at this point I was gonna get ghosted lol. I'm like I think it's on the first floor. They're like wow we're not going to the first floor and I'm like idk where it is here. They said "we'll be back" and I was like okay and waited probably 5-10 minutes in the hyper-rare chance that they would return and then went to do some more approaches on the rooftop.
* Receptive black girl. Has some weird skeleton teeth pasted on her lips though. I tell her to sit down with me while my arm is around her and separate her from her friends. I also see the girl that I talked to in line from earlier staring at us. I'm mentally like "yeah, exactly". Then I straight up can't hear her so I tell her we should go somewhere quieter. We keep talking and I try to bounce her off the roof but she's like oh I'm trying to meet with my other friends actually (her friends actually followed us but I hadn't acknowledged them at all). She asks for my phone number so I give it and I take hers as well. I said I want to see what it's like to kiss her with those weird skeleton teeth and she declines so I'm like okay give me your cheek and I kiss her cheek and then have a bunch of makeup on my lips. Then I texted her a bit later and she didn't respond.
* Some girls have some batons while taking some pics/video so I'm like "yeah get me in this shot" and they refuse. Tell the hottest girl she should beat my ass with the baton. Declines, male in the group is like "yeah they're really scary huh", I was like "not scary anymore they won't even beat my ass". I also told that to the girl and then I left.
* Open some black chick and she tells me she's trying to find a place that isn't playing "honky tonk" music. I tell her well there's a rooftop bar that plays hiphop, let's go. Put my arm around her and she's like "you don't have to touch me". So I just tell her "well I'm not fucking taking you there fuck off" and leave.
Mon 2021-11-01 19:07
Leaving Nashville tomorrow. I need to go back to my home city to do some quick errands tomorrow but I'm heading to Austin, TX on Tuesday. Will be staying there for probably 1~2 months, I'm not sure. I'm moving there because I have a circle of people there who are experienced with dating and day/nightgame, so it'll be nice to finally physically be around people who are having the lifestyle I want to have instead of just seeing it in online chats and forums.
I'll just post a recap of my time here for the past month.
- Went from lifetime ~100 to ~500 approaches. Learned from my friend in Austin that spam approaching with 20~30 sec interactions isn't effective and realized I was deliberately cutting the conversations too short and going for her number too quickly because I was avoiding the tension of the actual interaction (something that I probably wouldn't have had an issue with had I done the AA program first perhaps. But I've started to get better at this lately)
- Made out with a girl in a classroom from a cold approach instadate. Probably the best 5~10 minutes of my life.
- Got banned from a university for approaching 10% of all the girls on the campus in 5 days. I started running into a lot of girls who said I already came up to them, which isn't actually an issue during an approach, but I feel like since there were so many, they all told their friends, I probably got blackballed from getting dates. I don't think this is that far-fetched of a theory because I was told I was "all over social media", and even some random guy from the university somehow found my Instagram and messaged me there asking if I was a student. I had over 100 contacts in my phone at some point and got 1 (non-insta)date from being a pertinacious asshole over text. Had I done something like approach 10~15 girls a day on that campus and varied my approach venues more, I don't think this would have happened. Doing 100+ approaches in one day on that campus definitely exacerbated this.
- Started learning the basics of nightgame
- Probably more physical contact with girls than I've ever had for most of my life (mostly at night).
- Upgraded my style. I have everything from
@Radical
's style guide and have been wearing it all the time. People have been commenting about random stuff I've bought from the guide, especially girls I approach, so that's a good sign. Also got an earring and dyed my hair. Not sure if the earring is doing anything but I've gotten comments about my hair. Also I love having a leather jacket haha. Even my friend in Austin who's a day/nightgame god said my style/looks are basically solid (without me asking) and said I look way better in person than I do from my pictures (so I need better pics of course).
My most glaring flaw, and it has been something I've been struggling with my whole life, is I tend to go hard for a week or two, and then fade away into oblivion for another few weeks. Like after I got banned from the university, I had a bunch of days where I was sleeping for 13-15 hours and then doing nothing all day. This chat screenshot from some weeks ago probably encapsulates this the best:
- Handling anxiety at all levels of interactions with women. Before I got into approach, I thought it would be smooth sailing once I gained the courage just to open a girl, but now I've opened a whole new box of anxieties. Physical contact anxiety, tension anxiety during a conversation, escalation anxiety, etc. I think I've gotten over physical contact anxiety about 70~80% now though since it's the first one I identified. Getting better with tension. Have a long way to go with escalation.
- I think the reason for my anxiety ends up just boiling down to rejection. Like I'm pretty impervious to approach rejection but I still haven't deeply internalized embracing rejection at all the other stages. I've been doing more nightgame lately because at night you're forced to see through an entire interaction with a girl instead of just having a short convo and then inviting her to meet later if she's busy.
- Doing nothing is a form of complaining.
- If I don't "like" something that would be highly effective, I need to get over myself and just do it anyway. Some examples of this are online dating, alcohol, and music they play at night. This is a perspective I did not have until I started with self-improvement. For OLD, I just wanted to be away from social media and the online world in general, but it's obviously necessary for someone to use if they have no experience. I don't really like alcohol, but having a couple drinks while out at night puts you on the same level as the girls you're trying to hook up with, it's actually a calibration. Lately I've just been taking a shot before I go out since it's quick, and finding a few alcoholic drinks I actually don't mind when I'm out. And you can learn to get into music you previously didn't like to some degree. Complaining and refusing to do things like that is making things harder for no reason.
- Making sure I eat enough calories. I had a solid 2 or 3 weeks where I was eating 3000 calories a day but lately I've dipped back to my 1500~2000 calorie habits and I've noticed my lifts plateauing again. 3000 calories works for me (haven't been logging my gym routines lately because I've been pretty regular with going to the gym)
I wrote down a list of things I need to do when I reach Austin and some mindsets when I'm there, but I won't preemptively post them here because I feel like I'll just be jinxing myself. Will give myself the reward of talking about them when I actually do them instead of just saying what I'm going to do and then not doing it.
Fri 2021-11-05 17:11
Just moved to Austin. Did some Tinder swiping+3 boosts and got some matches but I'm not going hard enough on it yet.
0/10 at night
First approach was literally grinding on me but eventually went to the bathroom bc I didn't bother escalating further. I guess it was a warmup haha.
Grabbed 2 girls' asses in one night for the first time.
First one was receptive and we were dancing and she said I was a "good dancer". Then her friend grabbed her away from me.
Second one literally introduced me to her boyfriend the moment I started groping her ass.
Approached some other girl whose friend told me 2-3x that she was her girlfriend. Kept telling me to gtfo (just signaling with her arm, wasn't aggressive) Introduced myself to her at first. After her last gtfo I told them to kiss in front of me. They did. I thought of that on the fly from winging my interactions.
Starting to feel really confident at night lol. Glad I did those Halloween sessions in Nashville before coming here to Austin.
Fri 2021-11-05 23:57
First night I was here I used a boost but then I was socializing with everyone in this house I'm temporarily crashing at until I get my own place.
Last night I accidentally used a boost when I was about to leave and only got like 10 mins of it. Then I accidentally double boosted instead of staggering them. Got confused at the prompt when the boost ended haha.
"Going hard" basically just means actually following @Manganiello 's guide for me. I got pictures and if I don't get good results after a week or so of "going hard" I'll get new ones. That statement was just an acknowledgement that I need to do it properly more than anything.
Sat 2021-11-06 19:00
0/20 at night
Pic is where I went up to the girls and inserted myself in the pic and they accepted. Then my friend came up and was like "wait a sec". I ended up continuing the interaction with the woman on the left and walking down 2 blocks with my arm around her while my friend was distracting the other girls far behind. Tried to get the woman in this club but she went away after I took my arm off her and went in, so she was just unreceptive.
2 of the approaches had a friend who was like "this is my gf". told them to make out in front of me based on my experience from yesterday.
1 - Kissed for 0.25 seconds. I was like nahhhh I wanna see a make out let's go for 10 seconds, so they started again. Another friend tried to cover my eyes and I moved her hand out of the way. Counted 4 seconds and they couldn't do it, so I put my arm around the girl again and pushed for an interaction 3-4x. Got aggressively deflected and told them to get the fuck out of here.
2 - Refused to make out after 2-3x push. HYPER deflected. Also told them to get the fuck out of here. This one was interesting because the girl whom I approached told me she has a man and then her friend tried to tell me that they're gfs. Like lol okay let's blow our friend's cover. Anyway, later the other girl was hyper receptive to some other guy so maybe I just approached the wrong girl out of the duo lol.
Anyway, mostly all aggressive deflections for the most part. I think that means I'm sufficiently aggressive enough now.
I think now what I really just need to be aware of is making sure I don't just stagnate by only acting one-sided and purely rely on being "aggressive". That means being more self-aware of my behavior and calibrating when I need to. The only way I can see this happening is approaching more and staying consistent.
I also don't think I ever reveal my vulnerable side to girls. But it's not coming from a place of I have something to hide, it's more like I'm not even aware of what I'm hiding, if there is something.
But yeah, I definitely am feeling like a guy who goes out at night now lol. Not feeling out of place as much as I used to.
--
Also did some OLD, but not a real sesh. Boosted at 9:30pm and then accidentally did a consecutive boost at 10:00pm because I got confused by the prompt haha. Got probably 2 or 3 matches? I think there aren't a lot of people actually on Tinder in Austin on a Friday night cuz everyone seems to go out. Did another boost at 3:00am for the lolz and the only match wanted someone to piss on her lmaooo. I kind of wanted her to meetup anyway and see where it goes but I literally have no idea how to handle this. I feel like she wants someone experienced with that (I'm not into it and I have zero experience in general).
Sun 2021-11-07 05:39
I think even this was a mistake in my part. Andy also said the same in an earlier post on this thread. Like people who want to argue don't care about "reason" or whatever so the ideal thing to do is walk away, which I've been doing way more often now.
Sun 2021-11-07 19:21
4/~15 daygame. I honestly could have done ~25 though.
First day session in about 2 weeks. The session itself wasn't really that special, but I was applying an epiphany I had from talking with my friend a few days ago.
He had an approach recently where he felt he had absolutely no energy. He decided to just approach this girl as a "low-energy dick". He was just like "what the fuck are you up to?" "damn you're already going home? that's lame", basically that kind of vibe. She ended up exchanging and now they're texting.
The big epiphany I had is being aware of your emotional state and projecting whatever that energy is onto your approach. This was a big realization for me because my early day approaches were just hyper-robotic 20-30 second convos without trying to even connect with the girl (that's how I could do 40 approaches in an hour and like 107 approaches in under 6 hours lol), and even when I realized this was ineffective, I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to actually introduce myself to girls without robotically asking her some questions and then going for a number.
I was able to apply this today by just taking a quick 1-5 second check-in before I go up to a girl and understand what my energy/feelings were in that moment, and then projecting that energy during the approach and winging it. This manifested as statements such as "give me a sec I'm blanking out" and then she giggles and I end up continuing the conversation for a few more minutes before asking for an exchange.
I've always wanted to be able to learn how to be vulnerable around girls but I didn't really know how. It wasn't that I had something to hide, it was that I wasn't even aware of what I was hiding in the first place. But I think just 1. being aware of my emotional state before an approach 2. genuinely projecting it during the approach is a step in the right direction and will help me build better connections with women.
Mon 2021-11-08 10:20
5/25~30 daygame + 1 Instagram (but 1 number is fake so more like 4/30)
Haven't had a solid daygame session in a while. I went up to every girl I wanted to and had pretty good conversations with all of them. Yesterday I just felt nervous but today I felt like I just wanted to have a good time.
I took the Instagram after she declined my number push just because she was really hot. I'm not expecting it to go anywhere but I might experiment with settling for some Instagrams just to see what happens.
My friend had an interaction that provided some value for me in future approaches after we were done with the session. He often re-compliments girls during the interactions and also he usually up front asks about "what do you like to do for fun" and "what makes you cool". Basically more personal questions. I think my interactions are a bit too boring, even though lately I've been getting better at projecting my energy and frame during an interaction.
I don't care about her job and etc for example looool. Although every other chick in the domain is in tech so that makes it easy for me as someone in tech as well. Will work on being more personal with girls I approach.
Mon 2021-11-08 20:07
Yeah I have always known I have really low emotional intelligence and was confounded as to how I can work on that. My current mindset on approach seems to have revealed a pathway for working on that for me.
Earlier approaching just gave me confidence and audacity, since I was doing many "impossible" approaches early on. I don't really do crazy approaches as often anymore (mainly because I'm in places with more volume now).
Now it's becoming a way to improve emotional intelligence I believe, since I'm not doing 30 second approaches and racing to extract a number on every approach. It seems based on my session today I can still get decent volume without being a robotic asshole incongruent with myself.