Since Feb 6, I've done a little under 300 approaches and probably picked up around 20-25 contacts, and been on 10+ instadates and a regular date. I'd say at least 150 of the approaches didn't last longer than 20 seconds, and many of them I did not even get past "hey". So probably 100-130 approaches where I actually had a real interaction.
Including today, going literally
0 contacts
for around 70 approaches (although I had an instadate).
I think I've inverted the entire paradigm with respect to how I feel regarding cold approach. Back in August when I was extremely new, I felt like I was living in fear, like I didn't have the right to exist in this world. Now I can literally see the absolute fear that most girls live in, and probably most people in general.
And I think this power is getting to my head...
For example, here's a list of my craziest approaches/experiences over the past few weeks. I've never had any experiences like the below ones up until over the past 5 or 6 sessions. In chronological order:
- I look at some chick maybe 10 feet away and she looks at me. Starts darting off, I didn't even approach. I just kept staring at her and tailing her from a distance, and she darts into a shoe store. I stand in place, at least 20 feet away from her but I look at her. She pretends to look at merchandise but she keeps looking up to see if I'm still there. Just darts between a bunch of merchandise until she runs into an employee and they start chatting. I'm like uhhh, uhhh, and gtfo.
- I'm about to walk down an escalator and I say "excuse me" to some people so I can pass them. I walk through them and some 13yo boy is like "ugh can u watch where ur going?" I just decide to look back and stare at them, totally deadpan. They get all flustered. It's a kid with his mom and dad. I deadpan look at each member of the family as they whine at me. I reach the bottom of the escalator and I periodically walk, turn around completely and look deadpan, walk, turn around and look. They keep looking at me, making weird faces and discussing something while looking at me. Then I just walk off. This fired me up because I was feeling kinda psyched out from some random chick calling me nervous earlier in the day and I made a bunch of low effort approaches and took a nap up until this point.
- I'm loop-spam pushing a girl to cancel her Uber and some random other chick sitting down observing is like "It's time for you to go goodbye!" I look at her like a laser and say "Who are you." She's like "uhh...uhh....I...work here..." and buries her head in her phone.
- Several girls decline my handshake or don't even want to talk because of "covid" and that I'm not wearing a mask. I just started being like, okay sure I'll put my mask on. Then I'll just exaggerate the fuck out of this. How about you stay six feet away from me. Then I'll have a loud conversation and when the girl tries to come closer to me, I'll be like, no, stay six feet away. Eventually I'll just be like, okay go 30 feet that way, get out of here. I did actually end up instadating+exchanging with a girl who thought this was funny and played along and we literally talked for
2 hours
but I'll talk about that in a future post.
- I walk into a store and approach a girl. Talk for 30 seconds. Then I just stand in place and she immediately leaves the store. I see another girl in the store. Do the exact same thing. 30 second chat, stand in place. She leaves the store too.
- Duo is kind of walking to escalator and I'm about to be on their side to approach. I see them look at me for a second, but we're near the escalator. I can kind of tell they're already hyper scared and want to change trajectory/avoid me so I just go slightly ahead of them straight to the top of the down escalator. They both go into the top of the up escalator. I forced this entire trajectory and bust out laughing and make fun of them for trying to go down the up escalator for like a whole minute and then leave.
- A girl screams "nooooooooo!" when I say she's pretty. I reciprocate while looking back at her and run in the other direction like "nooooooooooo!"
- I see a Japanese girl walking towards me, and I see LINE on her phone. I'm like "ur Japanese right" in Japanese, and she's nodding her head "no!" as if she didn't understand me. We play a match of football where she tries to dodge me and I try to block her. Then I say "walk the fuck that way" in Japanese and she goes off. Later I run into her again and she sees me and hides behind a digital sign. I just stand in place for about a minute. Then she gives up and comes out and I stare at her, still standing still. She keeps looking at me and then literally runs away like a little bunny.
- Some girl is on the phone and I open her while she's talking on the phone. Maybe 30 second chat and then I can already sense she wants to dart and change trajectory. So we're right next to a store that's already closed and has a barrier set up. I'm like "yeah, go in that store". She's like huh??? "Yeah, come on, go in that store". She removes the barrier and goes in the store and redoes the barrier and I walk away laughing my ass off.
Anyway, I'm mentioning the above experiences because me 6 months ago would not imagine myself literally "controlling the simulation".
But it's not helpful for me getting laid.
Yeah, it's fun to have these weird frame battles and fuck with aggressively unreceptive girls, but it's easily arguable that I'm wasting too much time trying to have all these crazy rejection stories. In other words, just because I can do it, doesn't mean I should.
I think this may help me in trying to be forward in the bedroom perhaps in the future. But it's still the wrong thing to emphasize on. I mean I literally just wrote 9 long bullet points about "changing girls' trajectories".
In addition, if I weren't in the daygame chat, I wouldn't be like "wow fucking awesome, I went 0 for 70!" More likely that I would have been pissed maybe 30-40 rejections in and calibrate a bit. It's because you can get lots of validation in this chat, simply for doing a bunch of approaches, and especially if the percentages are low or even zero. Also if you do those funny frame battles which I mentioned above.
Which made me realize being in a place like this daygame chat is kind of similar to vaping. It's another form of breaking my brain's dopamine circuit by rewarding me for things that aren't supposed to be good, or they're low-effort.
On the other hand I
have
seen myself changing/evolving over these past few sessions even with the daygame chat. But I think the changes I make will be far different if I'm not exposed/incentivized by the validation from there.
The validation you receive should be aligned with your goals. If you're getting too much validation for irrelevant things, then it's time to take a second look at the places you're receiving the validation from.
So I'll continue staying in the daygame chat. But on March 1st, I'm going to be radio silent (unless I get a lay, then I'll post it there along with the rejection count). I think the strategies I take and things I implement will significantly change and I'll focus on more meaningful things about cold approach. And I won't be wasting my time with in-chat memes all day.
I've learned some lessons recently. I'll update this to let you know how it goes. I've got plenty of stories to tell but I'll save it for another post.