i also approached a girl last night outside of a cold approach sesh on my way home from the onsen! it's coming back!
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25 approaches over 2 hours
1 instadate (first ever in japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
1 contact
btw let me know if u guys want me to keep posting the session start/end pics lol
i was listening to some nampa audios on youtube before my sesh and realized the guy is saying total fucking bullshit. and japanese girls love total fucking bullshit humor.
on the other hand, the only way to be able to do that is to literally
not
know what you are going to say ahead of time, and be comfortable with that, and embrace it. like you literally have to go into every interaction embracing the fact that you will literally have no idea what you are going to fucking say.
and ironically this coincided with the fact that i needed to just fucking stfu about conversational skills and make the damn fucking approaches!!! that was what i journaled yesterday
colgate
wrote:
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Sun 2023-05-14 23:23
ONE AT A TIME. just fucking crush your approach anxiety. forget about results. forget about “quality” forget about whatever weaknesses in approach interaction quality you never resolved in america that’s psyching you out now. how the fuck are you supposed to have a quality interaction if you dread making the fucking approach in the first place?? there is a lot of value in the “enjoy rejection” mindset that you seem to have abandoned.
so i started by approaching a girl on the way to the station. after learning that she lives in the burbs, i started rambling about how my classmate is always late because he lives with his girlfriend in the middle of fucking nowhere. i didnt give a fuck lmao. was an easy opportunity to segue into asking if she has that kind of relationship. had some random convo but she was like determined to enter the train gates so i bounced.
on my 7th approach, i saw this suuuuuuuper fucking slim chick with a fuckton of makeup and red lipstick. so fucking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg this is why i came to japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was like fuck better get this ignore out of the way
excuse me, why do you have an umbrella
(it was raining during the sesh)
*takes out earbuds*
yeah the weather is fucking awesome i have no idea what you would need an umbrella for
what are you doing
nah just thought you were cute so i wanted to say hi
had a little bit of a boring chat at first and i stumbled over my japanese like 20 times. i was like damn this kinda sucks but she was listening.
we got into an entrance of a mall area. i didnt want to go fucking shopping so i just stopped and asked where she was going. after joking that she's just going to buy more flower-patterned dresses i was just like, let's go to a cafe i've never been to one around here.
we're only gonna go to a cafe right?
yeah you gotta meet your friend after right lol
<--- i'm thinking i should push it back on the girl like "oh you want to go somewhere else too?" in the future
i just dont want to run into weirdos...
ah yeah there are a lot of weird people here, i just moved here and would probably get tricked easily too
so we went to the cafe, and she called my perfect american accent pronunciation of the cafe name cool!!!!!! omg guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a girl thinks im cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we get tea and sit down and have about a 30 minute date. i haven't been on a date in like 8-9 months, but unlike my old dates, now that i actually have some experience i had some real stories to tell, so i actually felt more comfortable. i tried to avoid keeping it on me too much by asking if she had similar experiences and getting into her dating experience. since i can't post recordings here and it's in japanese anyway i'm gonna get some feedback from one of my senseis.
and uncharacteristic of literally every japanese girl i've talked to in japan up until now, she was also asking me questions and stuff. so that was cool.
when i asked why she stopped and wanted to talk to me, she said she's wanted to talk to foreigners but she can't speak english and i'm literally the first foreigner she has ever had a conversation with in her whole life. god i am so fucking glad i can speak japanese.
i tried to pull with the same strat i was using in nashville by introducing that i make music and i can show it to her at my place, she hummed and hawed, went to the toilet, and then we left.
mmm...yeah i don't think i can go to your place...i gotta meet my friend soon...and we just met
i can show you just 1 song and you can chill. when your friend contacts you then you can leave
hmmm...anyway let me pay you back for the smoothie
we went into a convenience store and i debated in my head whether i should buy us some drinks and chill at my place but i ended up not doing anything. she gave me 500 yen for her drink.
then i said, let's walk around while your friend comes. we walked for a little bit. she even put her umbrella over me. AGHHHH missed opportunity to probably hold her hand or engage some physical contact oh well freaking next time FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i didnt even think of it in the moment)
but then she froze.
yeah, i gotta go meet my friend now and i hate the rain...
ok, let's meet when it's sunny lol. let me grab your contact
hmm ok, line?
yeah line is good
then we parted ways
oh my fuCKING GOD she was SO FUCKING HOT OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO FUCK HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LITERALLY 100% MY TYPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also she was taller than me. WHY THE FUCK IS EVERY GIRL WHO ACTUALLY LIKES ME TALLER THAN ME AAAAA I WANT A TINY FUCKTOY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ok but she wasn't 6'5" and maybe it was just her heels making her taller than me)
i swear to god she weight like fucking 20 lbs tho. she was so thin. omg i want to pick her up and fuck her against the wall GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol this is the 20+ days of nofap and cold showers speaking
also i am totally wrong about foreigner being "unassuming white guy" for all japanese girls. i think that might be the case with some, but for others it's just any non-asian looking person. regardless it doesnt fucking matter because my BROWN ASS INSTADATED A HOT JAPANESE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's only a matter of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and this happened over only a total of maybe 100-150 approaches and i still fucking suck at this! god i cant wait until i get better and i can meet these kinds of girls every day!!! it's going to fucking happen!!!!! i'm going to be approaching 100 girls every day and taking multiple girls like this to cafes and convenience stores, and most importantly, my HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and maybe hotels)
notable interactions/random shit i had fun with
- before the instadate girl, i went up to a girl standing and literally was like "i like you, please go out with me" and she bounced instantly. that gave me a huge rush lmao
- "hey you speak english? oh me neither, guess we're both stuck with japanese then. it's really hard to get good at english, i've never left tokyo in my whole life"
- variation of the above if she does say "a little" or "yeah", "oh that's cool because i don't speak any english" (switch to english) "yeah i have no idea how to speak english"
- pretending i'm bruno mars and coming up with a name for a girl when she says her name is a secret and then talking about how this is a beautiful encounter between me bruno mars and her
^ LITERALLY what i realized before the sesh came true. i didn't think up of any of these before the sesh, and as i said i just went into every interaction deliberately making sure i had nothing prepared to say to the girl when i went up to her. there were plenty of times when i blanked out and had very bad and awkward conversations too. i just allowed myself to have them and give myself permission to suck and bounce out of interactions i couldn't enjoy and move on. it was definitely easier to do that today, knowing that it is possible for me to instadate a really FUCKING HOT GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think the straight up ignores went down by like 10% too. out of the 25 approaches i think i had about 4-5 conversations that lasted longer than 30 seconds which is good.
also even through the ignores i just naturally persisted through some of them. i think the ignores "went down" because after 10 seconds of persisting some of them removed their earbuds/acknowledged my existence and started talking with me. i literally didn't give a FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that being said i have a loooong way to improve on "cracking shells". but i'm starting to see how it works for myself
i leave you all with this image which i haven't bothered reading yet